


Sempre Piu

by MissReadandMissTaken



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I'm Bad At Titles, Irondad, M/M, Pigeons are government spys, Spideypool - Freeform, Tags Are Hard, Underage Peter Parker, i fixed the title, morals what morals?, previous title was 'to set the stars on fire', probably future angst cause I can't control myself, title doesn't really fit, what am I doing with my life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2019-10-25 09:24:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 25,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17722529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissReadandMissTaken/pseuds/MissReadandMissTaken
Summary: Peter Parker needs a fake boyfriend to cover up some lies... not the best method, but now he's on a lying streak, may as well make a few more mistakes to cover up others, right?Wade is on a winning streak. May as well mess it up by pretending to fake date someone way too young.Shut up, White, it's not inappropriate.Yet.Neither knows the other's secret identity. Hilarity and weirdness ensue.Anymore and there will be spoilers.





	1. Panicking Peter Parker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would NOT count on regular updates... Let's not kid ourselves. This is just a thing I've been working on and I was like 'Eh, I'll post it, I'm sure someone will like it.'  
> So yeah...  
> Also, I'm splitting it up so as not to post a 27 page doc all at once...  
> Also also because I started it on my phone, formatting errors galore.  
> Also also also, I started this when I was sick and delusional, so lots of mistakes probably, and OOCness...  
> Anyway, enjoy!  
> *Dab*

 

 

* * *

 

Peter was panicking.

He had just admitted to his friend he liked guys. That’s… kinda a bombshell, he guessed.

But. Like. That isn’t the worst. His friend wanted to go on a date…

“W-well, Harry… you see, I’m kinda seeing someone…”

“No. WAY! How could you keep that from me? I can’t believe you didn’t tell me! When do I get to meet the lucky guy?”

Ah shit… why hadn’t Peter thought this through? Of COURSE Harry would want to meet him.

….Peter had dug his own grave.

But. THAT wasn’t enough for him. He KEPT going. “He’s kinda shy…”

“That’s okay. You can both come to my house for dinner tonight!”

Buuuut Peter had plans… and by plans he meant he was going on patrol…

“Actually he and I are kinda hanging out…” wait NO. Now Harry would suggest it harder! Oh no.

“Perfect! You two were already meeting up!”

“...Harry, we kinda have a Friday thing where we go to… really shitty Mexican restaurants.”

Peter was going to die. If not from embarrassment, then when Harry found out this whole conversation was a lie.

“That is actually really sweet. How long have you been seeing the dude?”

“... don’t be mad”

Peter paused so he could think of a good amount of time. Why had he not paid more attention in those improv classes?

“No way! Don’t worry. I won’t be mad I swear!”

“...so like, we met last year… and we got kinda close… but we’ve only been officially ‘dating’ for like 6 months.”

“A YEAR AND A HALF?? Peter. You have my respect. There’s no way I could have kept that from everyone for so long!”

Peter laughed nervously. “Yeah… most of the time I forget no one else knows… I talk about him all the time-“ SHIT ABORT ABORT. The only person he ever talks about that no one else knows is-

“No way! It’s THAT guy?? Peter! How did I not connect the dots? I’m such a bad friend.”

“No!! I just was really self conscious about it… May doesn’t even know…”

“Wait. Am I the ONLY one who knows?”

“...maybe…”

“PETER. I can’t believe you haven’t told anyone! And the way you mention him… I thought you kinda hated the guy, really.” That’s… fair. He didn’t exactly do anything but COMPLAIN about him… but he didn’t exactly HATE the guy. Most of the time.

“Heh… yeah… well. Uh. I should get going…. I have to go meet Mr. Stark for this stupid project he’s been babbling about…”

“Okay. Let me know when you two are going to come over! I am absolutely DYING to meet him!”

This. Is. Awful.

Deadpool is NOT the best person to be in a fake relationship with. And NOW he needed to find someone to fit Deadpool’s EXACT description… (not that Peter paid that much attention… or anything…) until the foreseeable future. And not let Deadpool know he’s dating a description of him.

Easy.

“How should I even START to go about this?” He asked no one.

...well. He couldn’t exactly just ask anyone… he had to ask someone who looked like what Peter had described… at least mostly… but there was no WAY he’d find someone that look as big and strong as-

No. Shut up, Pete. You did NOT just think that!

Okay… someone as tall and… broad shouldered?

...yeah… that.

Someone who was funny and kinda really fucking annoying. Someone-

Peter hadn’t even kinda been watching where he was walking. Only now did he realize he’d walked down a side street and was, effectively, lost as fuck.

Peter hadn’t been paying attention at all. It was dark now, he was in what looked like a sketchy neighborhood aaaaand… He’d walked directly into someone. In the city? That’s like handing someone a knife and offering your throat begging to be mugged…

“I-I’m so sorry! I wasn’t looking a-and I-“ Peter went to look up.

“Don’t raise your head any higher.” The voice was gruff and low. Shit. He didn’t plan on ACTUALLY getting mugged tonight!

“I-uh… sorry!” Peter could only guess how big the person was. Tall. He knew that.  Peter was at chest level with the guy. He was broad… this guy would actually be perfect for-

Peter almost yelled at himself. Now was SERIOUSLY not the time.

“You will be.”

Peter turned to run. Super strength wouldn’t help if it gave away his secret identity.

“Not so fast.” A big hand grabbed his wrist when Peter had only taken a step and a half.

“L-listen! I don’t want any trouble…” Peter whirled around.

“Look at my face and you’re dead.”

Peter threw his eyes down still trying to wrench his wrist from the hold.

“Kid, seriously stop squirming. There’s a guy behind me. He’s been following you for a solid ten minutes. At least that’s when I noticed it. Just follow me.” With that the man let go of Peter’s hand and turned around. Peter, dumbfounded, finally looked up to see what this guy really looked like. He was wearing a hoodie. It was too dark to see it, but it was two tone at least. Pants… which wasn’t weird, but Peter was taking in as much as he could. The guy was taller than he first expected. And holy FUCK was he built. Peter may think, if he’d just passed this guy, he was a little overweight, given the large clothes… but peter had totally bumped into the chest on this man… and it was like walking into a brick wall.

Peter obviously didn’t get a good look at his face, but he wasn’t in a rush to do that. He wasn’t looking for a fight.

He followed the guy… against his better judgment.

“Sooo if someone has been following me… that means you were following me.” Peter yelled at himself to shut up. This guy could totally maybe take him in a fight. I mean. Definitely NOT, I mean, super powers...but like. He wouldn’t underestimate this guy.

The guy barked a laugh. “Kid. You WISH. I have been following you. But only because I noticed this creep following you first. I didn’t want you to get kidnapped or anything. You are really fuckin' naive…. I’m SURE this dude has been tailing you for longer than I’ve noticed.”

Peter wanted to look back. But that would alert the person behind them. Now that he was paying attention, he could totally tell there was someone. This guy WASN'T lying.

….that was actually reassuring.

“...why do you care?” Peter shook his head. “Wait! That sounded so rude! I mean. I’m really glad you noticed… I was kinda lost in thought… but like, you don’t know me… why would you do something like this…?”

“Would you?”

“Well, of course!”

“There ya go.”

...this guy was okay. Peter didn’t really see this side of people he saw scum and selfish people. This guy was-

“Also, I’ve been following this fucker for a while. He’s part of the gang that stole my wallet.”

“Dude. That’s… dedication.” This made Peter feel better. The man next to him was failing the guy who probably wanted to mug Peter.

“Damn right. I really like that wallet.”

Peter stifled a laugh.

“I can’t even imagine who’d wanna mug you, you’re fucking as big as the hulk! Shit. I mean. I did NOT just say that.”

The guy laughed. “I’ll take it as a compliment. The hulk is a nice guy.”

Bruce was pretty rad. The hulk kinda scared Peter at first, but they’d become good friends too.

Wait. Did this guy know the hulk??

“Do you know the hulk personally??”

“I wish! Nah. I don’t run on that side of the law all that much.”

Shit. That was a flag.

“You’re a criminal??”

“Sometimes.” Wait. That sounded like a joke.

“...hey since you’re helping me. And I actually don’t want you to walk me home, no offense… I just don’t want a complete stranger knowing where I live… uh would you wanna get some food?”

“As long as it’s Mexican, hell yes.”

This guy. Was. PERFECT.

Now all peter had to do was work up the courage to ask this guy to be his fake boyfriend.

“You read my mind!!”

 _Find out his name_ shit! That’s kinda important…

“Shit dude, you’re helping me out and I don’t even know your name.”

“Wade. Pleasure to meet you, kid” there was a wink in his voice. But Peter could respect the request not to look at his face.

“I’m Peter. Thanks again for helping me. Although, I’m sure I could take one stupid nugget out.”

“No way! They got ME. There’s not a chance in hell you’d not get totally robbed.”

“I am totally capable!” _Most of the time._

They strolled up to a Mexican stand that look like a rat ran it. His Spidey-Sense went off when a man popped up to greet them. He ignored it. He felt safe with Wade, weird enough.

“Wade! What’s up my man? Who’s the cutie?”

“Ralph, this is Peter, he’s in a spot of trouble I’m helping him with. Petey, this is Ralph. Ralph is an old friend.”

“No shit. This guy saved my life and my business! The usual, man?”

“Double the usual.”

“My man.”

Peter was super weirded out, but he pulled out his wallet to pay.

“Uh. Yeah right, kid. I’m paying.”

“You lost your wallet! And you’re helping me.”

“I am a strong independent black woman, who don’t need no man!”

“Wade. I think every single thing you just said was wrong. Like. The OPPOSITE of you.”

Wade laughed as he pulled out money. “Okay. You may have me there.”

Wade had put a hundred dollar bill down.

Ralph leaned in as he slid the food over… he didn’t look at Wade’s face though… weird. “You know you got a tail, right?”

Peter piped up “That would by my trouble.” Ralph looked down at him.

“I see. Well you want me to give them a piece of my mind for you?”

Wade grabbed the bags. “That’s okay. I’ll just kill him later. Thanks, Ralph! See you around. Stay OUT of trouble.”

“Haha! You wish, man. Take care! Bye Peter! Come back and see me sometime!” He winked. Weird.

As they walked, they took lots of turns.

“Man. I never have pleasant conversations with food truckers… they all hate me!”

“Yeah, well stay away from Ralph. Unless you’re with me. He’s… kinda an unsavory guy.”

...no WAY. his Spideysense wasn’t ever WRONG… but like… how unsavory do you have to be to set that off? It went off when he was in danger... but It wasn't Wade setting it off and it obviously wasn't the guy following him, so it had to be this Ralph guy.

“So do I even want to know?”

“Probably not. But hey. He gives me a discount on food. So. It’s cool.”

“You gave him a $100 bill anyway…”

“It’s the thought that counts.”

Peter’s phone rang.

He juggled the five tacos he had and answered. Trying NOT to be embarrassed by his Darth Vader ringtone.

“H-hey… so like. I KNOW I’m late… but like. There was an incident, see. Like. I’m being tailed. No big deal….”

_“Peter I swear to god answer your phone next time. I was so worried! Your aunt said she hadn’t seen you yet and you didn’t answer any of my texts. Do you need me to come get you? I’m on my way.”_

“N-no! It’s like. Totally okay. I’m with a friend. The tail is just some asshat that thought I’d be an easy target. It’s totally fine Mr- uh. Tony.”

He didn’t wanna say ‘Mr. Stark’ in front of Wade… that would be totally weird.

_“Two plus two equals?”_

It was code. If he said 4 it was all clear. If he said 5 send help. Peter had come up with it after reading _1984_ … but it worked.

“Four. Okay. I’ll be over in a while. I’m gonna give the tail a stern talking to.”

 _“Kid. That is a terrible idea. You’re gonna end up trying to buy him dinner or change his moral values.”_  Wade was talking too. But not to Peter so he let him be, the less he heard the BETTER.

“I’m just gonna ask why! If… he changes his mind it’s got nothing to do with me.”

_“You have an hour to be here. If you’re not I can, and WILL, send Steve and Bucky. They’re worried too.”_

“Uncle Steve is ALWAYS worried. Uncle B just wants to beat the shit outta people.”

_“You have a point. But my threat stands.”_

“Will do, Iron dad.”

 _“Peter I swear to-“_ CLICK.

“Gee wiz. So overprotective.” _Shit WADE HEARD ALL OF THAT._

“You totally didn’t hear any of that… right?”

“No? I was talking to someone….”

Peter sighed in relief. “Okay. I’m gonna go talk to the tail.”

“Uh. That’s literally the worst idea. And I have some really shitty ideas.”

“Listen. He’s been tailing you and I for an hour now.” Had he and Wade really been walking around that long? Well. Time flies when you’re having fun… and this was pretty fun, Peter would admit. “And me before that for who KNOWS how long! I’m just gonna go ask. I don’t think it’s too mug me anymore.”

Before Wade could try to talk him out of it, Peter walked towards the way they’d come.

“Hi. Why are you following- oh my god. HARRY WHAT THE FUCK.”

“Heya Pete…” Harry laughed, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I swear to god. I’m gonna kill you.”

“I just wanted to see if you were telling the truth!”

“You thought I would LIE?” _...never mind that it was totally a lie…_

“Pete. It’s hard to believe you socialize. You’re kinda a nerd…”

That… that kinda hurt.

“Well I’m not. Okay. Do this again and we can’t be friends. Seriously? I can’t fucking believe you. How long have you even been following us?”

“...since you left.”

“That was almost 2 hours ago. Whatever. I’m done. I need to clear my head and stop being mad at you.”

Wade was where Peter had left his side.

“Yeah? Well you did lie! You didn’t even go see Stark like you said you were going to!”

Peter froze. “Harry. I’m friend breaking up with you.” He just hoped Wade hadn’t heard the Stark bit.

“Ha. Ha. Pete. You can’t do that. You’re coming to dinner tomorrow. Just to make it up to me for lying.”

“We’ll see.”

“He is exactly how you described him, by the way!” Peter wished that he could melt into a puddle. He stomped back to Wade, who looked very confused.

Peter grabbed Wade’s hand… gloved. Weird. But whatever.

“Uh. Petey. What was that all about?”

Peter rounded a corner and stopped. Harry was SPYING on him. What the hell? That was totally not okay.

“He didn’t steal your wallet.” Peter said as an afterthought.

“Well.. no. But I thought you’d be more trusting if I said that instead of me just following you.”

Peter sighed.

“That was my friend Harry. I kinda may have let it slip I may or may not like guys.” Peter flinched, hoping Wade wouldn’t hate him for it… he didn’t even say anything. Peter continued. “And well, he asked me out… I kinda panicked and told him I had a boyfriend… I don’t… and I made up all these lies… and so like, oh my gosh this is so embarrassing. So there’s this guy who I know. He’s kinda a dick… but he’s also hilarious. And I talk about him occasionally… and well I kinda said it was him… because like, there’s no WAY any of my friends know him… and well. You kinda fit his description. And so when I bumped into you he thought you were my nonexistent boyfriend… and… okay even weirder… I said earlier that Harry couldn’t meet my ‘boyfriend’ tonight because he’s shy and also on Friday nights we go on dates to shitty Mexican food places. And stop laughing! I’m in a predicament!”

“Kid. You literally live in a sitcom.”

“Don’t I fucking know it.”

Now was as good a time as any to ask…

“But… okay. Totally weird question…”

“Shoot”

“Wanna be my fake boyfriend for the foreseeable future…?” Peter wished Wade would look him in the eyes… peter had literally yet to see his face. So weird.

“Uh, kid. I’m sooo not dating material.”

“But it would only be FAKE dating…?”

Oh no. Peter was freaking him out. And this guy was actually really cool… damn.

“My last girlfriend was killed.”

“Oh my god, Wade I’m so sorry, I-“

“I’m just letting you know.”

Oh… _oh_. Wade was straight

“Oh… shit… I-I’m sorry! I-i didn’t know you were straight…”

“What? No kid. I’ll fuck anything.”

_Blush_

“W-we’ll I wasn’t suggesting THAT I… I just need a fake boyfriend… we can stage a breakup! Oh my gosh, this would be the perfect event for it…” Wade still hadn’t agreed… Peter should quit before Wade like punched him or something.

“Do I look like a ditchable prom date to you?”

“N-no of course not!”

“I’ll be your fake boyfriend. But it might be dangerous for you… and you can call it off at any time.”

“Oh my god, really?”  Peter was absolutely awestruck. This man was too perfect for the world.

Peter lunged forward and wrapped his arms around Wade. “Thankyouthankyouthankyou!!”

“No sweat kid… but just so you know. This is actually a terrible idea. I’m a stranger. Who, frankly could be a murderer,” he laughed and continued. “You’re just lucky you’re so cute.”

“How old are you anyway…?” No matter what the guy said it’d be slightly creepy… Peter was a liiiitle under aged…

“Twenty seven.”

“Uhhhh I’m kinda fifteen going in sixteen…”

“Yeah. That may be a problem in our fake relationship.”

“Ugh. If this gets back to my aunt she’ll kill me! Then hand my over to my uncles and THEY’LL kill me.. then you. Okay. It’s off… i don’t want you in trouble. I’ll just tell Harry you broke up with me because he was following us and you thought I was cheating.”

“No way! I would never! We’ve been fake dating for a little under five minutes and I wouldn’t do that! How long have we been ‘dating’ again?”

“I said we met last year. But that we’ve been officially a thing for like half a year.” Yeah. That put a BOG damper on things… this meant Wade, a twenty six year old, had picked up Peter, who would have been fourteen when they met… that was definitely illegal… and just morally wrong.

“Oh yeah. I’m so not leaving you for a one time creepy friend.”

“Aaaand he asked me out earlier today. Now what?” Peter winked.

“That’s it. I’ll kill him!”

Peter laughed. He’d know Wade for less than a day but he already knew they were gonna be friends. Well, really they were pretending to be even more now.

“Well.. I have to go or my uncles are going to totally find me and yell at me… here’s my number?” Peter waited for Wade to get his phone out.

“Sick hello kitty phone case dude.” Peter laughed.

“Hello kitty is a queen. Fight me.” They exchanged numbers and then parted ways.

Peter felt giddy.

This was the weirdest day he’d had in a while… and he’d been bitten by a radioactive spider. So. Yeah.

He made a new friend he was now ‘dating’, he got asked out and stalked by another friend, he met a sketchy taco guy. He was going to see Mr. Stark and from how it sounded, at least some of the avengers are there. And he hadn’t even patrolled yet! The possibilities were endless.

Peter let out a laugh. This was so much fun!!!

 

**BOOM**

 

Aaand just like that the night was ruined. Peter was suddenly on the ground.

_Damn_

A pumpkin bomb

It… oh son of a bitch. It was the green Goblin. Great. And Peter didn’t even have time to change into his suit. What the fuck was he supposed to-

“Little spider.”

Oh. _Oh fuck!_

* * *

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why, yes, I should be writing my other story, you are very right. No I'm not doing that right now, shhh.  
> I'll explain when I actually get to the next chapter of it... maybe.  
> Also, I make really obscure references (Songs, movies, books, etc) I'll try and credit them as long as I remember, If I miss one and you're dying to know, just ask. *Kisses*  
> CREDITS:  
> "Do I look like a ditchable prom date to you?" is a quote from Bobby Singer from the show Supernatural.  
> "Shitty Mexican Food Friday" It's actually something me and an Ex used to do... it really is fun. I don't recommend it because you can get hella food poisoning.  
> Also, I kinda already said, but the 'two plus two' think is from 1984. Great book, classic. Check it out if you haven't already!!  
> Ralph the food truck guy is based on a creep I met while I was working at a state fair, he tried to get me to meet him behind the truck after they closed... I did not because I'm not stupid. Also I was like 13, so, all the red flags, okay.  
> Xoxo,  
> ~Miss Taken


	2. I can't think of anything witty right now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I figured this chapter was pretty short, so, yeah.  
> Enjoy!  
> Or don't, whatever.  
> This chapter (and, really, last chapter) go to my new best friends Kat, Jilly Bean, Daddy (Even though you refuse to read this, you fucker, lov u tho) and Emily, love you hoes <3 <3

 

 

* * *

 

There. Was. No WAY the goblin knew his identity! That was literally so UNFAIR. 

Peter was SO close to figuring out HIS secret identity! 

So not fair. 

Peter was salty. 

This was all the more reason to beat the guy up…. but nicely. He didn’t want to hurt anyone too badly. 

“All this time I thought you were some hot shot, turns out you’re just a high schooler. Who’d have thunk.” 

“Jee wiz, why don’t you tell the whole city while you’re at it!” Peter was panicking. There was definitely SOMEONE listening. Word was going to get out. He was ruined. 

Well. No… but it would definitely make his life harder. He’d have to ask Mr. Stark how he did it…

“Aw, but Peter, we’re such good friends.” Another bomb. He was TRYING to draw a crowd! 

“Hey. This is a little unfair. You know me, but I don’t know you!” Peter dodged, trying to get a grip on the glider. No dice. 

“You do, you’re just too dense to pick up on clues.” 

“You know, this is-“ Peter jumped left to avoid being stabbed. “Really petty! You’re a grown man for crying out loud!” Back to the right. The Goblin stabbed into a wall with his stupid glider swords. 

“You would know, child. You-“ 

Peter grabbed the shiny metal leg of the goblin’s armor, ripping him from the flying thing. 

Peter swung him around as he crushed the metal. It would probably be a pain in the ass to remove… but that’s okay. The dude kinda deserved it. 

Peter cried in triumph when he let go and a satisfying  **_clunk_ ** from the brick wall and the suit echoed. 

“I’m actually late for something. But this totally isn’t over. Stay away from me and my family. I mean it.” Peter grabbed the mask, pulling the goblin up to him. 

“Oooh. Yeah. About that. I may or may not have your dear friend Harry hostage.”

“You’re bluffing.”

“Maybe.” A punch landed in Peter’s gut. It didn’t hurt… but it DID knock the wind outta him. Peter grabbed the mask as he fell, aiming to tug it off with the force of gravity. 

He saw a glimpse of what was underneath and tried to catalog everything he could. Graying stubble… not much. Recently shaved. White. Wrinkled… late 40s early 50s. He almost got to the distinguishing features…

It almost worked! 

Buuuut….

“Nice try, Spiderman.” And with that a fist landed at his temple, successfully knocking Peter out. 

Shit. 

  
  
  


When Peter came too, it wasn’t in a dark alley. It was on a couch… warm and bright. Well. Not too bright. But. He could see. 

This wasn’t his house though….

This couch was much less stiff and much more threadbare. 

 

Peter groaned as he sat up, holding the side of his head. 

“Ah, finally you’re up!”

“Wade…?” Shit shit shit. If he was at Wade’s that could mean Wade was around when the goblin was calling him Spider-Man… shit. 

_ Play dumb _

“What happened?”

“I heard explosions from the way you’d gone and I came to your rescue like the hero I am!”

Peter looked up, eyesight blurred from losing conscious. Buuuut he saw Wade’s jacket. It was a Spiderman one. Peter almost didn’t catch the laugh in his hand. 

“What? I’m a hero!”

“No, no… not that! Your jacket!”

“Spiderman is my favorite superhero! Don’t hate.”

Peter laughed and didn’t try to stop it this time. “You’re such a nerd!” Yes. Peter realized he was indirectly making fun of himself… buuut it was cute. Truth be told… Wade rocked the logo. 

Maybe it was the fit of the hoodie, but Peter was sure  _ he _ didn’t look that good with his spider on his chest. 

Peter cursed how slim he was… again. Being lightweight and quick had a lot of advantages… but the muscle would help him intimidate… his metabolism just worked so fast!

Anyway… back to the point. Wade had covered his face. Peter was confused… but he didn’t want to be rude and say anything wrong… Wade HAD saved his life… kinda sorta.

Aaaand the dude also might possibly know Peter’s secret identity. That was kinda a big deal. 

And if Wade knew… he could blackmail Peter… which was totally a possibility. Wade had nothing to lose and everything to gain from exposing Spider-Man’s secret identity. 

Again… kinda sucks. 

“Shit” 

“What’s shit, baby boy?”

“Nothin- what did you just call me?”

“Well. I figured were fake dating. We may as well get used to pet names.”

“No pet names. They’re so weird.” 

“Sweetie. You met a stranger an illegal amount of years older than you today and knowing him for less than an hour you asked him to pretend you’ve been dating for like half a year. Said stranger  _ agrees _ and you think pet names are weird?”

“You… have a point.”

“I know. I’m good at pretending I know what I want  _ then  _ pretending I’m an expert. Try it. It works wonders.” Peter could see Wade’s eyes… a crystal baby blue. They were mesmerizing, especially because they were so expressive. But. The moment Wade realized they were making eye contact, he quit. Peter wished he could see Wade’s actual smile. 

“Don’t stare” Wade barked. 

Peter’s eyes snapped down. “S-sorry.” 

He didn’t mean to make Wade think he was being stared at! I mean… Peter  _ was _ but only because he stared off sometimes and also Wade’s eyes were like the prettiest blue and-

“Wow kid. I’m gonna stop you there.”

_ Shit _ . He’d totally said that out loud. Peter’s life was over. Embarrassment was going to be his cause of death. 

“S-sorry! It’s just, my head, and weird situations. I-I’m just sayin weird things… not that your eyes aren’t, like, drop dead gorgeous, but-!” Peter glanced back up for a fraction of a second. “I-I’ll just quit talking…”

Wade was quiet and Peter wanted to look so bad to gauge his mood… but Peter had already insulted him. 

Peter wouldn’t want someone to stare at him either… it was weird seeing himself in the papers so often with no one knowing it was him…

Wade laughed. A chuckle at first. But full gut busting was only a few seconds away. 

“Why are you laughing! It’s not funny! I’m sorry I’m so mean… but you don’t have to laugh!” Peter tried to get up, but he was still quite dizzy. 

Wade seemed to forget peter was still sitting prone on the couch. Peter cleared his throat and only then did Wade 

“Oh, baby boy. You are a riot.”

“I-what?” 

“I… am sensitive about my skin.” Wade sounded like he had only just barely stopped himself from saying something else. 

“I am so sorry! I didn’t mean to make you think I- I wouldn’t-“ Peter’s hands flew to his face. Wade hated him. And he was going to tell about him being spider man. 

“Take a breath, honey. It’s okay.” 

“Where are we anyway?”

“Oh! Well… I didn’t know where you lived… so I brought you to my place… it kinda sounds creepy now that I say it out loud… an old guy brings underage kid home while said kid is unconscious…” Wade rubbed the back of his neck. 

Peter laughed. He hadn’t even thought about that. Age was weird. Peter had barely any friends his age, but he hung out with the Avengers. He and Tony were- oh god. 

“Holy shit what time is it??”

“Uhhh,” Wade checked his phone- hello kitty case, Peter noticed. “8:43.” 

Peter leapt up, stumbling, but keeping his feet under him. “He’s totally gonna kill me!”

“Who?”

“Wade. Where are we? How far is the Avengers’’ tower? Is there a bus stop near by?”

“Woah, kid. Slow down. In order. My place, uh, I don’t know twenty minutes on a really good day of traffic, no busses that go that way at this time-“

“I gotta go.” If Peter ran, he might make it. 

“I’ll go with you.”

No. If Wade didn’t know Peter was Spiderman, Peter out running him, this obviously in shape guy, by miles would raise questions. 

“N-no it’s okay.”

“Petey, I don’t feel completely comfortable letting you go alone. You got knocked out pretty good.”

“I- but… okay-“ Peter took a deep breath trying to compose himself while still rushing. “I am late for my internship… like a few hours late… and I need to go because I promised I’d be there in an hour… and I haaaave,” Peter checked his phone. “A little under ten minutes.” 

Tony was going to kill him. 

“Kid, you know it’s almost nine pm, right? What kind of internship do you even have?”

“Uhhhh. I’m flexible on hours. And it’s a Friday…” 

“Yeah. That’s not a convincing alibi.”

It wasn’t a complete lie, per say. But it honestly DID sound like a shitty alibi. 

“Okay. It does sound crappy. But I swear it’s not a complete lie!”

“Emphasis on ‘complete’. Now I HAVE to know! Let’s go.”

“I run fast…” 

“What, think I can't keep up?”

“I’m not saying that!” He grinned. “Old man.” 

“Oh you are  _ on _ , kid.” 

Peter was resigned to his fate. Wade was going to take him to the tower… maybe Tony would be okay with- who was Peter kidding? Tony would kill him for bringing a complete stranger to the tower, let alone going to his HOUSE. Buuuut Tony was going to be pissed any way you slice it… so. Why not let Wade tag along? 

Like peter could stop him… 

“Wanna race? I’m totally going to whoop your ass.”

“No  _ way _ . I’m younger and way better!”

“Yeah well I’m OLDER and way better LOOKING.”

Peter laughed. “Ready. Set.”

“Go!” And with that Wade was off. Peter had planned on going easy on him… by as it was, he wasn’t sure if he could beat Wade even if Peter  _ tried _ . 

So. He did. 

Aw, don’t look at him like that. He wanted to know! 

And. Really? Peter only beat Wade by three seconds. Peter tried to be intimidated… but really? He was just impressed. Wade had not only kept up, he’d been ahead of Peter for a while there. 

Though. He had played dirty a few of the times Peter had almost passed Wade.  Wade grinned, not looking the slightest bit out of breath. 

Okay. Now Peter let himself be intimidated. Peter had become quite a lot quicker and had an increase in stamina since the accident… and  _ he _ was out of breath. Not heavily. But he still could feel a slight burn in his lungs from the slightly chilly air. 

“How… are you… not out… of breath?” 

“Lots and lots of practice, Baby Boy.” Peter could hear the wink in Wade’s voice. 

“Well. I was a gentleman and walked you to the front door on our first date… do I get a kiss now?”

Peter laughed breathaly. “I don’t kiss on the first date. Sorry.”

Wade sighed. 

“Third date kissers are so high maintenance.”

“Who said I’d even kiss you then?” Peter winked. Not letting himself acknowledged he’d actually never kissed anyone.

“Well. I’m not sure this relationship is going to-“

The door opened and Peter’s life was over. It was Tony, of course. 

“I’m sorry. What relationship are we talking about?” 

“O-oh. Uh, hi! Mr. Stark… how are you?”

“Peter I am not in a good mood. Get in here.” Tony stepped aside but Peter didn’t duck in yet. He hadn’t said bye to Wade yet. Tony didn’t seem to care, he turned to address Wade, however Wade had his face turned away… toward Peter. Peter tried not to let curiosity get the best of him, if Wade didn’t want his face seen, Peter would respect it. “And who the hell are you?”

Peter spoke when it looked like Wade was going to say something to piss Tony off. “This is Wade! He’s a good friend of mine.” 

“I wasn’t talking to you, kid.” Tony scolded. “Hey, look at me when I’m talking to you.”

“Ah, no can do, boss.”

Tony wanted to punch him. Peter could see it. He might have too, if Peter had gone in. 

“And with that! Bye Wade! See you later! I’ll text you about that thing!”

“Sure,” oh no. Wade was going to say it. Right here in front of Tony. Peter could hear the smugness from one word and- “Baby Boy.” He said it. Tony was going to kill him. Or let Aunt May do it. Or both. 

“Excuse me-“ Tony was cut off by Wade laughing. “I know you feel left out. Don’t worry. I’ll think of a fitting nickname for you too.” 

And then Wade was gone. And Peter was left with a super pissed off father figure. 

“Mr. Stark I-“ 

“Inside.”

“But-!”

“ _ Now. _ ”

Peter scampered inside. It was going to be a long night. 

And an even longer lecture. 

This sucked. 

He just wanted to text Wade. His missed his fake boyfriend already.

* * *

  
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really think there are any references in this one... Now the next Chapter? Jeez Louise. A ton.  
> Speaking of, I need to fix that whole chapter... I kinda couldn't cut it down anymore because there was no good place to stop it, so... it's a solid 13ish pages...  
> Love y'all tho.  
> Also, you should like leave a comment if you like this... they make me giddy.  
> And kudos, but like comments are where its at. I'll comment back even why not (I sounded like Zoidberg there for a second).  
> Xoxo,  
> ~Miss Taken


	3. Wonderful World of Wade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya guys! I really didn't expect such a positive response... I've been getting comments and Kudos left and right! Thank you so much you guys!  
> This chapter is a little longer than the other two... Here's hoping that's a good thing lol!  
> Sorry for all mistakes... Again, wrote it on the phone... soooo formatting may be a thing... I got most, hopefully all, of it tho.  
> Uhh today's chapter is dedicated to... Bees. They are lovely beautiful creatures. Save the Bees!!  
> Anyways, on to the show!  
> Xoxo,  
> ~Miss Taken
> 
>  
> 
> [White]  
> {Yellow}  
> {[both]}/[{Still both}] I just apparently hate consistency.

 

 

 

* * *

 

[You're a nobody]

{Worse! You’re like a some _ thing _ }

[You should die.]

{Buuut you can’t!}

He had to get out of here. He was going to go crazy if he had to stay one more second in this shitty apartment. Like. Actual crazy. 

[And you still won’t get away from us.]

{You’re  _ already _ actually crazy!}

[Clinically insane.]

Okay. Maybe it was the beginnings of a panic attack. Not that he would admit he got those. Al usually helped. But she was like a bajillion stares away. And she was a useless old blind witch. 

But Wade felt trapped. So. He had to leave. Like. Now. 

But he didn’t want to run around in the suit. So. Sweatpants and his favorite Spider-Man hoodie. Perfect. He wished his Spidey was here now. 

[What, to see you so pathetic?]

{He would hate you even more!}

He left, almost not shutting the door. Not that it mattered. But it totally did. 

Soon Wade was lost. Which was normal. But as he looked up he saw a guy. Really small and probably younger. He was a little ways away, but whatever. What interested Wade was the guy following him. He’d seen this scenario before. Older bigger dude following a smaller unsuspecting dude? Well. Wade wasn’t in costume, but he could do one good thing tonight.

Maybe it would help. 

He maneuvered himself to get in front of the kid, when he had he walked out from the alley. The kid hadn’t even noticed until he ran right into Wade’s chest. Man, this kid was short. 

“I-I’m so sorry! I wasn’t looking a-and I-“ 

[Your ugly face will scare him]

{He’ll run right to that fucker following him}

“Don’t raise your head any higher.” Crud that sounded threatening. 

“I-uh… sorry!”

“You will be.” Dammit Wade. 

The kid turned to run. 

“Not so fast.” Wade shot his hand out and grabbed he slim wrist. 

“L-listen! I don’t want any trouble…” He spun. 

“Look at my face and you’re dead.” 

{You’d probably gouge your eyes out on the spot, kid!}

The kid tried to break free. 

“Kid, seriously stop squirming. There’s a guy behind me. He’s been following you for a solid ten minutes. At least that’s when I noticed it. Just follow me.” This kid was small. Scrawny. 

Wade was totally into it. His face was sweet, his messy brown hair. Adorable. 

[You just saved this kid so you could fuck him]

{Selfish} 

[He’s probably 12.]

{You’re disgusting} 

“Sooo if someone has been following me… that means you were following me.”. 

Wade laughed out loud. Like. A GOOD loud laugh. “Kid, you WISH. I’d a been following you. But only because I noticed this creep following you first. I didn’t want you to get kidnapped or anything. You are really fuckin naive…. I’m SURE this dude has been tailing you for longer than I’ve noticed.”

The kid only just now thought to look back. Wade couldn’t believe it. This kid was going to die. 

“...why do you care?” The kid stopped and looked panicked. “Wait! That sounded so rude! I mean. I’m really glad you noticed… I was kinda lost in thought… but like, you don’t know me… why would you do something like this…?”

[Selfishness]

{Lust}

“Would you?”

“Well, of course!” Strong morals… already twice the man Wade was.

“There ya go.”

The kid looked like he bought it, but Wade wanted to drive the point home. 

“Also, I’ve been following this fucker for a while. He’s part of the gang that stole my wallet.” And while this stalker didn’t, Wade’s Hello Kitty wallet  _ had _ been stolen recently. And it was totally uncool. 

“Dude. That’s… dedication.” 

“Damn right. I really like that wallet.”

“I can’t even imagine who’d wanna mug you, you’re fucking as big as the hulk! Shit. I mean. I did NOT just say that.”

This kid was cute. Come ON. No filter. Even if he was just being nice. “I’ll take it as a compliment. The hulk is a nice guy.”

Bruce was nice. The hulk kinda hated him. But that was beside the point. Bruce and the Hulk were totally different. 

“Do you know the hulk personally??”

“I wish! Nah. I don’t run on that side of the law all that much.” 

Shit. He shouldn’t have said that. It wasn’t a LIE but like. Who just says that? 

“You’re a criminal??”

“Sometimes.” He joked. 

“...hey since you’re helping me. And I actually don’t want you to walk me home, no offense… I just don’t want a complete stranger knowing where I live… uh would you wanna get some food?” Ok the kid wasn’t completely stupid. That was good. 

“As long as it’s Mexican, hell yes.” Wade could demolish some shitty Mexican food right about now. 

“You read my mind!!” 

This kid was just too precious. 

“Shit dude, you’re helping me out and I don’t even know your name.”

“Wade. Pleasure to meet you, kid.” The kid still hadn’t looked at him, which Wade was very thankful for. 

“I’m Peter. Thanks again for helping me. Although, I’m sure I could take one stupid nugget out.”

“No way! They got ME. There’s not a chance in hell you’d not get totally robbed.” Wade didn’t want this kid to try it. He looked dead serious. 

“I am totally capable!”

They strolled up to Ralph’s stand. And while Wade hated Ralph as a human, he had been keeping his promise. No more little kids. 

[Not that you’re any better] 

He ignored white. He couldn’t respond right now anyway. 

“Wade! What’s up my man? Who’s the cutie?” Wade almost growled. But Ralph knew what would happen if he broke his word. 

“Ralph, this is Peter, he’s in a spot of trouble I’m helping him with. Petey, this is Ralph. Ralph is an old friend.”

“No shit. This guy saved my life and my business! The usual, man?”

“Double the usual.”

“My man.”

Peter was super weirded out, but he pulled out his wallet to pay. 

“Uh. Yeah right, kid. I’m paying.”

“You lost your wallet! And you’re helping me.” 

Wade was a gentleman. And also he doubted this kid had enough money to pay for what was just ordered. 

“I am a strong independent black woman, who don’t need no man!”

“Wade. I think every single thing you just said was wrong. Like. The OPPOSITE of you.”

Wade laughed as he pulled out money. “Okay. You may have me there.”

Wade had put a hundred dollar bill down. He didn’t really have that kind of money to be spending, but it would be a nice reminder for Ralph and also, Wade just wanted to leave and keep walking, the panic attack had faded mostly, but it would still be nice to get out more energy.

Ralph leaned in as he slid the food over, talking to Wade. “You know you got a tail, right?” 

Peter piped up “That would by my trouble.” Ralph leered down at him. 

“I see. Well you want me to give them a piece of my mind for you?” Ralph was scum. He didn’t give Wade trouble as Wade wasn’t his ‘type’ 

Wade grabbed the bags. “That’s okay. I’ll just kill him later. Thanks, Ralph! See you around. Stay OUT of trouble.”

“Haha! You wish, man. Take care! Bye Peter! Come back and see me sometime!” He winked. 

As they walked, they took lots of turns. Wade tired not to walk too fast, but the kid was keeping up and didn’t look like he was struggling even the slightest.

“Man. I never have pleasant conversations with food truckers… they all hate me!” 

“Yeah, well stay away from Ralph. Unless you’re with me. He’s… kinda an unsavory guy.” Really unsavory. 

“So do I even want to know?”

“Probably not. But hey. He gives me a discount on food. So. It’s cool.”

“You gave him a $100 bill anyway…”

“It’s the thought that counts.”

Peter’s phone rang. 

He juggled the five tacos he had and answered. The imperial death march was as loud as possible. Wade tried to save the kid the embarrassment and pretended like he didn’t notice. 

The boxes decided it was time to start back in on Wade. 

[What are you doing?]

“Peter is a good kid. Okay.” Wade whispered harshly.

{Yeah, but he hates you.}

[Or he will] 

“Why? He seems like an open minded person.”

{Til he sees your gross face}

[Or learns about the merc biz.]

{Or the fact that you’re way older than him}

“Why can’t we’ve friends?”

{Great song. Why can’t we be friends, why can’t we be frieeeennds?}

[Don't change the subject. You know you don’t have friends. They all die.]

{Because of you!}

Wade realized Peter had hung up and didn’t acknowledge the fact that the boxes had a point. 

“You totally didn’t hear any of that… right?”

“No? I was talking to someone….” And trying to quell more stupid feelings.

Peter sighed in relief. “Okay. I’m gonna go talk to the tail.” This kid was literally gonna die. 

“Uh. That’s literally the worst idea. And I have some really shitty ideas.”

“Listen. He’s been tailing you and I for an hour now.” Had he and Wade really been walking around that long? Well. Time flies when you’re having fun… and this was pretty fun, Wade would admit. “And me before that for who KNOWS how long! I’m just gonna go ask. I don’t think it’s too mug me anymore.” Yeah. It’s to kidnap and rape you. Or worse. 

Before Wade could try to talk him out of it, Peter walked towards the way they’d come. Wade followed him just in case. 

“Hi. Why are you following- oh my god. HARRY WHAT THE FUCK.” 

“Heya Pete…” stalker tail guy laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“I swear to god. I’m gonna kill you.”

“I just wanted to see if you were telling the truth!” 

“You thought I would LIE?”

“Pete. It’s hard to believe you socialize. You’re kinda a nerd…” Wade was going to kill him. Peter was the sweetest kid ever. 

“Well I’m not. Okay. Do this again and we can’t be friends. Seriously? I can’t fucking believe you. How long have you even been following us?”

“...since you left.” Crazy boyfriend? Wade tried not to be jealous. It was hard though. 

“That was almost 2 hours ago. Whatever. I’m done. I need to clear my head and stop being mad at you.” 

“Yeah? Well you did lie! You didn’t even go see Stark like you said you were going to!”

Stark? Like Tony Stark? Peter just kept impressing him. 

“Harry. I’m friend breaking up with you.” Wade wanted to laugh and sigh in relief at the same time. That was such a cute and peter response. And Harry wasn’t his boyfriend. 

“Ha. Ha. Pete. You can’t do that. You’re coming to dinner tomorrow. Just to make it up to me for lying.”

“We’ll see.”

“He is exactly how you described him, by the way!” Peter blanched, Wade was now very confused. 

“Uh. Petey. What was that all about?”

Peter rounded a corner and stopped. 

“He didn’t steal your wallet.” Peter said as an afterthought. 

“Well.. no. But I thought you’d be more trusting if I said that instead of me just following you.”

Peter sighed. 

“That was my friend Harry. I kinda may have let it slip I may or may not like guys.” Peter flinched, And Wade tried not to squeal. “And well, he asked me out… I kinda panicked and told him I had a boyfriend… I don’t… and I made up all these lies… and so like, oh my gosh this is so embarrassing. 

“So there’s this guy who I know. He’s kinda a dick… but he’s also hilarious. And I talk about him occasionally… and well I kinda said it was him… because like, there’s no WAY any of my friends know him… and well. You kinda fit his description. And so when I bumped into you he thought you were my nonexistent boyfriend… and… okay even weirder… I said earlier that Harry couldn’t meet my ‘boyfriend’ tonight because he’s shy and also on Friday nights we go on dates to shitty Mexican food places.” The universe hated this kid as much as it hated Wade! He lost it. He laughed. This was great. “And stop laughing! I’m in a predicament!”

“Kid. You literally live in a sitcom.”

“Don’t I fucking know it.” Peter rubbed the back of his neck. Wade knew Peter was gonna ask something he was embarrassed about. “But… okay. Totally weird question…”

“Shoot.” Called it. 

“Wanna be my fake boyfriend for the foreseeable future…?” Ok. That wasn’t exactly what he’d been expecting. But. Okay. 

“Uh, kid. I’m sooo not dating material.”

“But it would only be FAKE dating…?”

[Of course. Who would want to date for real.]

{Wade’s face would make a blind person cry just ask Al.}

[Nope. That’s all his  _ charming _ attitude.]

“My last girlfriend was killed.” Wife. But whatever. God he missed Vanessa. 

[Another one dead and gone because of you]

{Another one bites the dust. And another one gone and another one gone.}

“Oh my god, Wade I’m so sorry, I-“

“I’m just letting you know.”

“Oh… shit… I-I’m sorry! I-i didn’t know you were straight…”

“What? No kid. I’ll fuck anything.”

Uh oh. That was the wrong thing to say. 

{Wade said he was going to fuck a kid!!}

“W-we’ll I wasn’t suggesting THAT I… I just need a fake boyfriend… we can stage a breakup! Oh my gosh, this would be the perfect event for it…” No! Wade didn’t want to lose Peter. They weren’t even dating and he didn’t want that. 

“Do I look like a ditchable prom date to you?”

“N-no of course not!”

“I’ll be your fake boyfriend. But it might be dangerous for you… and you can call it off at any time.” 

“Oh my god, really?”  Peter was absolutely the cutest creature ever.  Peter lunged forward and wrapped his arms around Wade. “Thankyouthankyouthankyou!!”

“No sweat kid… but just so you know. This is actually a terrible idea. I’m a stranger. Who, frankly could be a murderer,” he laughed and continued. “You’re just lucky you’re so cute.”

“How old are you anyway…?” No matter what the guy said it’d be slightly creepy… and he didn’t really keep track. He didn’t age… as far as he could tell. So. He did the math. When this first happened he was like twenty something. So. Uh-

[Too old for him?]

“Twenty seven.”

“Uhhhh I’m kinda fifteen going in sixteen…” 

“Yeah. That may be a problem in our fake relationship.”

“Ugh. If this gets back to my aunt she’ll kill me! Then hand my over to my uncles and THEY’LL kill me.. then you. Okay. It’s off… i don’t want you in trouble. I’ll just tell Harry you broke up with me because he was following us and you thought I was cheating.”

“No way! I would never! We’ve been fake dating for a little under five minutes and I wouldn’t do that! How long have we been ‘dating’ again?”

“I said we met last year. But that we’ve been officially a thing for like half a year.” Yeah. That put a BIG damper on things… this meant Wade, a twenty six year old, had picked up Peter, who would have been fourteen when they met… that was definitely illegal… and just morally wrong. 

{You don’t have morals.}

[Gross.]

“Oh yeah. I’m so not leaving you for a one time creepy friend.” 

“Aaaand he asked me out earlier today. Now what?” Peter winked.

“That’s it. I’ll kill him!” Wade liked Peter. And he wanted to continue this acquaintanceship with him. Peter didn’t hate him. 

[{Yet.}]

Peter laughed.

“Well.. I have to go or my uncles are going to totally find me and yell at me… here’s my number?” Peter waited for Wade to get his phone out. 

“Sick hello kitty phone case dude.” Peter laughed. 

“Hello kitty is a queen. Fight me.” They exchanged numbers and then parted ways.

  
  
  


Wade bid good night to his fake boyfriend, Peter. He honestly hadn’t meant to start following the kid, but he hadn’t known it was the boy’s friend who’d been following.

Could have been anyone with gross intentions. But Peter was really adorable! He had listened to Wade when he asked him not to look at his face.

He liked shitty Mexican food, he was funny, and holy crap was the kid smart. Wade reflected on his previous few weeks.

He had been having a string of good days. It was starting to freak him out.  He’d been on more jobs. 

[Always good.]

{But! Those jobs? Not a single one had gone wrong! Well, there was that one, but only one out of like a bajillion?}

Wade was suspicious. 

Not just about the jobs. White and Yellow? Nothing but funny and compliant with his please for them to shut up…. ya know. For the most part… not today. But. Like. For the past few days they’d been good. but even still, it was absolutely unprecedented.

Wade would be concerned he was dying if that didn’t sound amazing. 

And he’d been hanging out with Spider-Man, like, every night. And he had the best ass in the world. And Spidey was  _ letting _ him hang out! They talked and Wade would tag along on his ‘patrol’ or whatever.

Then, like this kid Peter? Cutest thing in the world. If only he were like a few years older it’s be perfect! 

Sigh.

{That just makes it easier! Now we can focus on Spidey!}

[You don’t know how old he is either.]

“Well, as long as he’s not, like, fifteen like Petey-Pie, it’s all good!”

Then Wade heard an explosion.

[All good things must come to an end]

{Wait, isn’t that the direction Petey walked??}

Wade had already started sprinting in that direction.

[Great. You make a friend and immediately they’re targeted.]

“-but Peter, we’re such good friends.” Another bomb. 

Then his Petey spoke and Wade sighed in relief. 

“Hey. This is a little unfair. You know me, but I don’t know you!” He smiled. So witty. 

“You do, you’re just too dense to pick up on clues.” Wade was only a few more rooftops away, he would make it, he had to!

“You know, this is- Really petty! You’re a grown man for crying out loud!” There was a loud clang of metal.

“You would know, child. You-“ 

Another loud clunk, but this seemed to silence whoever his Petey-Pie was talking to.

“I’m actually late for something. But this totally isn’t over. Stay away from me and my family. I mean it.” Wade Jumped one last roof and was then right above them.

“Oooh. Yeah. About that. I may or may not have your dear friend Harry hostage.”

“You’re bluffing.”

“Maybe.” A punch landed in Peter’s gut. It knocked the wind outta him. Peter grabbed the mask as he fell. 

It almost worked! 

Buuuut….

The green dude whispered something to Peter and then Peter was out cold.

Wade jumped down, ignoring the broken tibia. 

“Hey, green dude! What the fuck!” 

Peter is a totally innocent kid! This green dick must have some serious issues.

{Just kill him!}

Then it had picked Peter up by his throat and was holding him in the air. 

“And who are you?”

“The guy who’s gonna kick your ass!”

With that, Wade was carefully plucking Peter from the clutches of this overgrown fungus and setting him down out of the way. 

“Oh, you’re in for it now!” The glider thing charged at Wade, but Wade fake yawned and did a flip over it. 

“Come ON dude. You’re so lame you’re going after defenseless children. Not cool.” 

“Why do you care so much?”

{Because Petey is ours!}

“Because it gives me all the joy in the world to see guys like you fail.”

“What is the boy to you. Surely you don’t know him.”

“He happens to be one of my best friends.” Wade was offended! Why was it not plausible that he couldn’t be acquainted with a cutie like Peter?

[Have you seen your face recently? Not really the best looking.]

“Ok. Maybe not. But that doesn’t matter right now.”

“See, you know nothing of this ‘child’. Leave and maybe I’ll let you live a little longer.” 

{He wasn’t talking to you, Greenie!}

“Wow. What a cliche. I’d like to see you try to kill me. That’d be fantastic. But. Like. The kid? Leave him alone. He is officially under my protection.” 

“Should that mean something?”

“Maybe.” Wade pulled out a gun. No, it doesn’t matter where it came from. Stop asking. 

{Yeah! It’s a secret.}

[Not really, it was just in his pock-]

{SECRET}

He shot through one of the engines and watched the flying thing start to spiral. 

Greens hit the ground with a nice metal crushy sound. 

Wade stood over him, still not paying his still slightly hurting leg any mind. “Like I said. He’s under my protection. Now. If you leave now… well I was gonna extend the kind offer you gave me, but I’m still gonna kill you. But you can decide if it’s now or later.” Wade motioned for him to get up, he did and tried to punch at Wade. 

{[Predictable]} 

Wade caught the fist. Noticing the dented and crushed parts wondering how they got there. 

Wade thrust the metal hand back at the masked face. “Stop hitting yourself.” 

He knocked the guy out and took off his mask. Some old dude. 

Typical.

Wade scooped Peter up and started walking. He let his feet carry him as he assessed Peter’s injuries. He looked fine. Just knocked unconscious. Little bloody nose. No problem 

Wade realized he walked to his closest hideout without meaning to. 

Peter had somewhere to go… but Wade didn’t know where so this was probably the best he could do anyway. 

[Or you could call the police like a normal person.]

“Shut up.”

He plopped Peter in the couch, getting a red solo cup and washing it really well, then pouring some juice in it. 

Kids liked juice, right?

After like fifteen whole minutes of Wade nervously pacing and pretending to do stuff, he heard Peter stir. He threw on one of his handkerchiefs-

{Ewww what’s this white stuff-} no time for that. Wade tied it around the bottom half of his face. 

“Ah, finally you’re up!”

“Wade…?” Peter looked panicked. “What happened?”

“I heard explosions from the way you’d gone and I came to your rescue like the hero I am!”

[Yeah right.]

Peter laughed. 

“What? I’m a hero!”

“No, no… not that! Your jacket!”

“Spiderman is my favorite superhero! Don’t hate.” 

{He’s suuuper cute too.}

Peter laughed and didn’t try to stop it this time. “You’re such a nerd!” Peter froze. “Shit” 

“What’s shit, baby boy?” He let the name slip. It was a habit! 

[That’s what we call Spider-Man.]

{Thanks Mr. Exposition.}

[Not the point, Yellow. What if this kid has heard Deadpool say that? He’s sharp. He’ll connect the dots.]

{Maybe he won’t notice.}

“Nothin- what did you just call me?”

[Quick, think of a cover!]

“Well. I figured were fake dating. We may as well get used to pet names.”

“No pet names. They’re so weird.” 

“Sweetie. You met a stranger an illegal amount of years older than you today and knowing him for less than an hour you asked him to pretend you’ve been dating for like a year and a half. Said stranger  _ agrees _ and you think pet names are weird?”

“You… have a point.”

“I know. I’m good at pretending I know what I want  _ then  _ pretending I’m an expert. Try it. It works wonders.” 

Wade took in the kids looks again. 

His eyes are beautiful. The perfect shade of adorable. And his hair? Ugh. Wade was gonna die. 

{He’s so small}

[He’s also staring at Wade’s face. Just an FYI] Wade shook from his thoughts. 

“Don’t stare” Wade barked. 

Peter’s eyes snapped down. “S-sorry.” 

“I didn’t mean to make you think I was staring,” then the kid paused. “I definitely was but only because those eyes are actually the bluest and prettiest-“ Wade could tell the kid didn’t know he was talking out loud and while it was a confession he would love to hear, this kid was just rambling. Poor dear. 

“Wow kid. I’m gonna stop you there.”

“S-sorry! It’s just, my head, and weird situations. I-I’m just sayin weird things… not that your eyes aren’t, like, drop dead gorgeous, but-!” Peter looked like he was gonna punch himself. “I-I’ll just quit talking…”

{Okay. That’s adorable. I totally get your new obsession}

[...This kid had no filter.]

{Like us!}

[He does it a little better than we do.]

{You admitted it!}

[Admitted what?]

{You like him too!}

And white was quiet. 

Wade laughed. A chuckle at first. But full gut busting was only a few seconds away. 

“Why are you laughing! It’s not funny! I’m sorry I’m so mean… but you don’t have to laugh!” Peter tried to get up, but he was still quite dizzy. 

Wade seemed to forget peter was still sitting prone on the couch. Peter cleared his throat and only then did Wade 

“Oh, baby boy. You are a riot.” Wade hadn’t even been laughing at him this time. 

“I-what?” Wade figured Petey deserved an explanation. Even if it was a vague unhelpful one. 

“I… am sensitive about my skin.” 

“I am so sorry! I didn’t mean to make you think I- I wouldn’t-“ Peter’s hands flew to his face. This kid. Wade hadn’t met anyone who hadn’t immediately wanted to see his face. He was glad they weren’t phantom of the operaing it. 

{I hate that movie}

[Which one?]

{Yes.} 

Peter’s hands were still covering his face. 

“Take a breath, honey. It’s okay.” 

After a good deep breath, Peter let his hands drop, still kind of curling in on himself. “Where are we anyway?”

“Oh! Well… I didn’t know where you lived… so I brought you to my place… it kinda sounds creepy now that I say it out loud… an old guy brings underage kid home while said kid is unconscious…” Wade rubbed the back of his neck. 

Peter looked like his soul left his body, and he looked scared for a second. 

[Too far with the creepy old guy thing.]

“Holy shit what time is it??” Oh. 

“Uhhh,” Wade checked his phone. “8:43.” 

Peter leapt up totally almost falling on his face. “He’s totally gonna kill me!”

“Who?”

“Wade. Where are we? How far is the Avengers tower? Is there a bus stop nearby?”

[Not at this time.]

{What’s going on?}

“Woah, kid. Slow down. In order. My place, uh, I don’t know twenty minutes on a really good day of traffic, no busses that go that way at this time-“

“I gotta go.”

“I’ll go with you.” This really wasn’t a neighborhood you should be in by yourself at night. 

{Especially if you’re a cute young thing.}

[You’re both creeps.]

“N-no it’s okay.”

[See. Even he picked up on it.]

“Petey, I don’t feel completely comfortable letting you go alone. You got knocked out pretty good.”

“I- but… okay-“ Peter took a deep breath, still fidgety and flitty. “I am late for my internship… like a few hours late… and I need to go because I promised I’d be there in an hour… and I haaaave,” Peter checked his phone. “A little under ten minutes.” 

That sounded suspicious. 

“Kid, you know it’s almost nine pm, right? What kind of internship do you even have?”

“Uhhhh. I’m flexible on hours. And it’s a Friday…” 

{What else are you flexible in.}

[We’re supposed to be giving him shit for this. Not encouraging.]

“Yeah. That’s not a convincing alibi.”

“Ok. It does sound crappy. But I swear it’s not a complete lie!”

“Emphasis on ‘complete’. Now I HAVE to know! Let’s go.”

“I run fast…” 

{You ain’t seen nothin’ yet.}

[Just don’t blow our cover.]

“What, think I can't keep up?”

“I’m not saying that!” He grinned. “Old man.” 

[I take it back. Beat him.]

{But what about our ‘cover’ you-}

[Forget the cover. This is about honor now.]

“Oh you are  _ on _ , kid. You wanna race? I’m totally going to whoop your ass.”

“No  _ way _ . I’m younger and way better!”

“Yeah well I’m OLDER and way better LOOKING.”

[{No you’re not.}]

Peter laughed. “Ready. Set.”

“Go!” 

Wade sprinted ahead. He had so many advantages. He knew where the tower was. He knew this neighborhood. He was a mercenary. A lot of things, really. And he played dirty. And yet, Peter still equaled him and, ultimately beat him by 3 seconds. 

[This isn’t right.]

{He’s so amazing!!} Yellow swooned. {No wonder he’s so small! He runs like a cheetah!}

Wade had one thing over the boy. He wasn’t out of breath. At all and the boy was panting hard. 

Wade grinned. 

The only reason Peter had won was because Wade was staring at his ass as soon as he pulled ahead. 

“How… are you… not out… of breath?” 

“Lots and lots of practice, Baby Boy.” Wade winked. 

{Ha. Blowjobs.}

[How poetic.] sarcasm to the max. 

“Well. I was a gentleman and walked you to the front door on our first date… do I get a kiss now?” He joked

[Creep.]

Peter laughed breathaly. “I don’t kiss on the first date. Sorry.”

Wade sighed. 

“Third date kissers are so high maintenance.”

“Who said I’d even kiss you then?” Peter winked. 

“Well. I’m not sure this relationship is going-“ 

The door swung open. And who should it be but Tony fucking Stark? Now Wade was remembering that stalker kid saying something about it. It had just slipped Wade’s mind, really.

[How do you even manage to get in these situations?]

“I’m sorry. What relationship are we talking about?” 

“O-oh. Uh, hi! Mr. Stark… how are you?”

“Peter I am not in a good mood. Get in here.” Tony stepped aside but Peter didn’t walk in. Tony didn’t seem to care, he turned to address Wade, but if Tony saw his face he might put two and two together… so he looked away…. toward Peter. This beautiful child didn’t even sneak a peek. “And who the hell are you?”

He had a snarky answer, but Petey could apparently read his mind and didn’t let him.“This is Wade! He’s a good friend of mine.” 

“I wasn’t talking to you, kid.” Tony scolded. “Hey, look at me when I’m talking to you.”

“Ah, no can do, boss.”

“And with that! Bye Wade! See you later! I’ll text you about that thing!”

“Sure,” he could see the panic on Peter’s face. The boy could read him just from his voice. “Baby Boy.” He said it. 

“Excuse me-“ Tony was cut off by Wade laughing. 

“I know you feel left out. Don’t worry. I’ll think of a fitting nickname for you too.” 

{Yeah I got a couple fitting nicknames for-}

And then Wade was gone. 

Peter was totally going to hate him, but he couldn’t help pissing Tony off when he got a chance. He hadn’t had a chance to do it in a loooong time. 

[It’s been less than a year] 

“Waaaay too long.” 

Wade hoped Peter texted him soon.

{You’re so clingy.}

“You’re one to talk.”

{Fair.}

* * *

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CREDITS
> 
> “Imperial Death March” from Star Wars
> 
> “Why can’t we be friends?” by WAR
> 
> “Another One Bites the Dust” by Queen
> 
> When Wade says ‘Nah I’ll fuck anything’ lol that stems from a conversation my friend and I had about Deadpool’s sexuality. She goes ‘so which way do you think he swings?’ I said ‘He’d fuck a blender. Probably has.’ So… yeah… kinda an inside joke w/ that.
> 
> Ditchable prom date- Bobby Singer from Supernatural (I think I said that last chap… oh well.)
> 
> “Phantom of the Operaing it” Phantom of the Opera has the phantom as a character with a hideous face and the girl he falls for is all like ‘Nah dude, I love you for you!’ then sees his face and passes out. Weak bitch. Wade is just concerned the same thing will happen with… well anyone, but Peter specifically in this case. And, truth be told, I really DIDN’T like any of the movies… maybe that’s just a me thing tho… 
> 
>  
> 
> If anyone wants to know what I’m listening to while writing… Well it’s weird. But like,  
> ‘Gabriel Faure’s Requiem Op. 48 Complete (best recording)’ youtube… Libera Me is my favorite, if anyone wanted to know… Don’t make fun of me, okay. It’s relaxing… and I had to sing it for choir once upon a time, so I can EASILY tune it out lol... and it's really pretty.
> 
> Again, if I made a reference you don't get or is kinda confusing, please ask! I'm MORE than happy to clear things up!  
> Was that too long? Good length? Too short... help lol
> 
> Also, I wanna hear your guys' opinion! Do you like Wade's 'pov' deal or Peter's more? I know in some I've read I like one waaaay more than the other, and while I try to make them equally as good, I really want to hear outside opinions!  
> Also also! I want to give a HUGEEEE shout out to one of my favorite stories of all time (Let alone just Spideypool) 
> 
> "I think I might have Inhaled You" by SordidDetailsFollowing omg if you haven't read it? like? What are you doing w/ your life?  
> Have a fantastic day/night guys and gals!  
> (Ps, No, idk when the next chapter is gonna be up... it's a shorter one tho, so... eh, soon ish... maybe?)  
> Xoxo,  
> ~Miss Taken


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No time for notes I'm in class and this bell is about to end lmao!  
> Yeah, didn't edit, no time the bell rang! If it's too bad, I'll fix it I promise!  
> Enjoy!  
> Xoxo,  
> ~Miss Taken

 

 

* * *

 

Tony Stark would make a good dad one day. He was caring and protective. Even still Peter knew he was in a boat load of trouble. 

Tony had basically adopted Peter. He and May went way back and so when Peter got the ‘Stark Internship’ May was sceptical, but accepting. Peter lived with Tony for the most part… staying with May in weekends and the like. And it was great living with all the Avengers! Really… 

When people asked, he said he lived with a few of his aunts and uncles.  They all came and went all the time. They had other places to be… well all except Tony, Steve and Bucky. 

Aunt Natasha taught him how to be stealthy… well she tried. Her and Peter weren’t so close, even though they were both spiders. But he knew she could help if he wanted to be a little mischievous. 

If he wanted to be a lot mischievous Uncle Loki was the absolute best person. Like ever. He was so creative. He was only ever there when Thor was there, so not very often. But Peter loved to pull pranks with the younger Odinson. The older one was another story. It was always ‘training’ and it seemed like it was really hard to be an asgardian warrior… Peter was barely keeping up with everything Thor tried to teach him!

Uncle Bruce and Tony were always arguing about some equation or another. Peter usually settles disputes and discrepancies. Bruce was right a lot… but Tony could hold his own. 

Uncle Steve was always talking about ‘back in his day’ and Peter and Uncle Bucky has to try to contain their laughter. 

Uncle Bucky was awesome, plain and simple. He made fun of Steve in the most loving way possible. He also was just really easy going. It was weird to think about his past and stuff so Peter didn’t. It didn’t change who Bucky was now. Most of the time… sometimes he could hear things breaking in the kitchen and Steve having to calm him down… It made Peter sad because neither of them deserved that.

Uncle Clint was super cool too. He taught Peter sign language and they had really long ‘conversations’ (they made lame jokes) whenever they knew it would piss someone else off. For some reason everyone always thought they were being talked about. Except Aunt Nat. She joined in. Tony was the easiest to piss off though. It was actually awesome. 

But tonight it was just Tony, Steve and Bucky… and Steve and Bucky were nowhere to be seen. So Peter knew at least they wouldn’t lecture him too… then again, they also wouldn’t be there to defend Peter in anyway… you win some ya lose some. 

Tony walked to the counter grabbing a glass of water. He’d quit drinking with Steve’s help and Peter’s support. Or that’s what they told the other Avengers. It was a lot more complicated. But that’s a different story. 

“I don’t want any excuses.”

“Okay.”

“What were you doing tonight?” 

Peter took a deep breath. “Okay. So. I was hanging out with Harry after school. And then I told him ‘oh I gotta go’ and I left and then I was thinking and I kinda a little bit zoned out and I got lost and I bumped into an old friend because I had accidentally walked into his neighborhood.” Peter was rambling. Very much so, but he wanted to get it over and leave out as much as he could. 

“You said someone was following you.”

“Oh, it turned out to be Harry. Now he thinks me and my old friend are dating and he’s jealous because ‘if I’m gay he should have a chance’ and he wants to hang out with my ‘boyfriend’ and I to break us up or something. But like. We’re not even dating. And I’m just really confused about Harry because he’s been acting weirder lately and I don’t know why.”

“Jeez. Take a breath kid.” Tony crossed his arms and leaned against the counter. “He shouldn’t say things like that. But he might be under stress. His dad is that Osborn guy, right?”

“Yeah.”

“And that guy is not nearly as put together as I am.”

Peter chuckled. “Sure. Let’s go with that.”

“Anyway. He’s also graduating this year, right?”

“Yeah, unless he gets held back…”

“I doubt they would hold back Oscorp’s heir.”

“Yeah, but you haven’t seen his grades!” Peter laughed. 

Tony didn’t return it. “Peter, I know high school is rough. I know you’re going through...changes-“

“I’m gonna stop you right there. It has been way too weird of a day to have… that kinda talk…”

Tony looked relieved. “Thank god. Now I can make Steve talk to you about it.”

THAT WAS WORSE.

“O-or! You could let my health class take care of it?”

“I don’t trust the public schooling system. And you wouldn’t let me put you in private school.”

“...but that’s so weird to talk about… especially with any of you guys…” 

“It’s important.”

Peter just wanted out of this conversation. There was already a tiredness pulling at him.

“Anyway. We can drop it for now.”

Peter mentally sighed in relief. 

“Speaking of Oscorp, that’s kinda what I wanted to talk to you about.”

Oh no. 

“So...I know this is asking a lot.”

Oh  _ no _ . Tony never started with that line unless it was a big favor. 

“And you said you didn’t like him… but- I hesitate to even ask you, but how would you feel going under cover?”

Oh… that’s not as bad as he thought. 

“...like a spy?”

“Exactly like a spy.” Tony let himself pause. It was a manipulative trick Peter had caught onto… and yet couldn’t deflect. “I need you to go undercover as Harry’s boyfriend.” 

“And I’m out.” Peter had already turned him down once and now Harry believed Peter had a boyfriend…

“Yeah. I didn’t think you’d be able to… it’s okay. I think I know another actual  _ trained _ person. Don’t worry.”

That’s not fair. 

“And what if I was already dating someone?” Wait, no. Shut up, Peter. 

Tony raised his eyebrows in shock.

“I-I mean- theoretically! Of course!”

“Peter. Be real with me. Are you dying someone?” 

How do you say ‘kind of’ to that? It was the truth, but not a real answer! He could just TELL Tony he had a fake boyfriend, but then he’d be reprimanded for lying and Steve would be called up and the whole ‘we didn’t rear a lier’ thing would come up. And Peter didn’t want that… so. 

“Well… I’ve been talking to someone… and they’re really cool… so kinda a little I’m seeing someone…?”

Tony put the glass down, bringing his hand to run at his temples. “Kid. You’re too young to be dating.”

“But you said you wanted me to fake date Harry!”

“It’s not the same!”

“And why not?” Peter knew he was raising his voice… but he couldn’t help it. He needed to find out why the green goblin knew his name. He needed to go on patrol. He… wanted to text Wade. 

He was a busy kid, okay! 

He didn’t know why Tony was so vethemly trying to get Peter to fake date one of his best friends, but it couldn’t be that important-

“Listen. I’m going to be completely clear. I think they are trying to kidnap you. Well. Not you, you. But Spider-Man you. I also have intel that they have new weaponized serum. It enhances an average human’s capabilities… enough to surpass you at full strength or even the suit, the downside? It has driven the few test subjects insane. And they’re still moving forward. Throw that in with their normal work of creating hover whatever’s and we have a very big problem on our hands.”

Okay… okay wait… if he thought. That totally sounded like the green goblin… right? Super human, only recently… new hover glider… slightly insane… okay. That. Was definitely a cause for concern. And Peter could figure out not only how the serum was made, but also who the goblin was. 

“Oh… that’s… that’s a lot.” Tony didn’t know about the Green Goblin yet… Peter had maybe kinda accidentally on purpose not told him about the guy out for his life all of the sudden… but it made sense now. If they were working on a serum that was turning people mad… and Spider-Man wasn’t insane, maybe he held the key. It made sense in a weird twisted way… 

“I know. And I think if you go undercover as the heir’s boy toy-“ Peter blushed. “Then you could see the extent of what we’re up against. I swear I wouldn’t ask you if I didn’t think you were the perfect person for the job.” Damn Peter and inability to say no. 

“...Lemme ask my kinda boyfriend.”

Tony looked surprised. Like he wasn’t expecting Peter to actually agree. Or… maybe it’s because Peter once and for all confirmed he liked dudes… Peter didn’t think that was right though. A playboy such as Tony knew… right? Ew, wait, no he didn’t wanna think about-

Too late. 

And that mental image would scar him forever. 

“Alright. I really can find someone else.”

“No I can do it.” Even if he’d be in more danger since the Green Goblin knew who he was. 

“I knew I could count on you, kid.” Tony walked over to ruffled Peter’s hair, then as he was walking down the hall, “We’ll go over more of it tomorrow.”

And with that Peter was a spy. Even if he really didn’t want to spy on one of his best friends. 

He needed to talk to someone… but Ned couldn’t keep a secret for his life (or Peter’s, in this case) and MJ and him weren’t really that close. Harry was obviously out of the question. 

That left Wade. 

He’s at least understand. 

Even with it making no sense at all. 

Peter went to his room (right next to the room Thor slept in and across the hall from there Loki stayed when they were around… they had to switch because the walls were thin and they could gossip and it kept everyone up… and also the pranks… Aunt Nat still wanted to kill Loki sometimes for the pink hair incident…). 

Peter pulled out his phone, and thought about calling… but he didn’t want to seem desperate… so, a text would do. 

 

_ “Wow, parents am I right? Asking for favors all because you miss one curfew. Smh” _  No… that wasn’t cool enough… and Peter just wanted to rant a little… 

_ “Did you get home okay?” _

Wait, no… that sounded clingy… he did want to know… but he didn’t want to seem desperate. 

Finally, he realized he hadn’t even given Wade his number. 

He settled on

_ “This is your fake boyfriend! lol” _

It was lame… but Wade would probably like it. Peter wanted to double text… he did that… a lot. But he didn’t want to weird Wade out.

Don’t be clingy, don’t be clingy, don’t be-

_ “Wanna chat?” _

Dang it, Peter.

**_Ping!_ **

**_“Heya kid! I actually don’t have time to talk tonight… I have to go into work, but I’ll catch you tomorrow”_ **

 

Oh… maybe Wade didn’t really intend on ever talking to Peter again… It was really weird… Wade was too cool to hang out with a nobody like-

 

**_Ping!_ **

**_“Let me know when you have time tomorrow, maybe we can bum around the park?”_ **

 

Did… did Wade just ask him on a date?! 

This was amazing.

 

_ “Hey, no problem! I actually have homework I should do. And I’m free anytime after noon tomorrow! I have some hot gossip I KNOW you’re gonna wanna hear!!” _

 

**_Ping!_ **

**_“Can’t wait kid! Xoxo”_ **

**_Ping!_ **

**_“Ps, hope daddy didn’t yell to much”_ **

Peter grinned. 

_ “That may or may not be what the gossip is about” _

**_Ping!_ **

**_“Oh NOW I’m curious.”_ **

 

Should Peter say more? Is that the end of the conversation? 

_ “Lol Good night Wade!” _

Okay. This would definitely be the end of-

**_Ping!_ **

**_“Goodnight cutie”_ **

Don’t blush. 

You don’t actually like him… you’re FAKE dating. Big big emphasis on ‘fake’. 

Ok. THAT was the end… Peter was a little upset he didn’t get the last word… but he would next time. 

He tried not to grin too hard at that thought. Peter threw his phone on the charger and grabbed the red and blue suit from the closet. He needed some serious stress relief and helping people was exactly what he needed. And he had a date- FAKE date with Wade tomorrow. 

The giddiness was visible in his swings through Brooklyn. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


When he finally paused to catch his breath, he was all the way in the Bronx. He was sitting on a roof, looking down at a mostly empty street. 

So far he’d had no one who needed his help. But he was pretty sure there would be at least a mugging. 

Not hopefully… but hopefully… 

he didn’t  _ want  _ bad things to happen… buuuuut he wanted to stop bad things from happening.  Did that make him a bad person what if he was just wishing bad things on people so he could be a hero… but he wasn’t wishing bad things on people! 

But he kinda was? Was he even a hero? What if he was turning into a villain??  What if-

“Heeeey, spider!”

Peter whipped around. His Spidey-Sense hadn’t even gone off…. meaning this person wasn’t a threat. 

“Deadpool!” He was very much a threat. Maybe he was just too caught up in his thoughts.

“Aww, did I scare you?” 

“N-no! Not at all. I heard you coming a mile away!”

“Sure. Any baddies yet?”

“Just you.” Peter crossed his arms.

“Such kind words.” Deadpool wiped an imaginary tear away. 

“What do you want.” Peter was busy. 

“I just wanted to see my favorite insect!”

“Spiders are arachnids.”

“Sure they are. And a dolphin is a mammal.”

“Dolphins  _ are _ mammals.”

“Yeah well, that’s what the government wants you to think.”

“Dolphins breathe air. They’re warm blooded, the have live young. They’re  _ mammals _ .”

“I bet dolphins don’t even exist.”

“That’s insane. How could you think-“

“Think about it! Have  _ you _ ever seen a dolphin in REAL life?”

“W-well… no. But that doesn’t mean they’re not real!”

“I’ve never seen one either. Who’s to say they’re even real?”

Dolphins were real. Deadpool was being ridiculous. He wasn’t ever right about anything, so why would he be right about something so outlandish?

“Pigeons aren’t real either.”

“Don’t you  _ dare _ say you’ve never seen a bird. They’re basically an invasive species at this point.”

“Pigeons, and they’re government spies.”

“Sorry.  _ Pigeons _ . Do you know how  _ expensive _ that would be?”

“Well. I think it’s not that expensive. The man just  _ says _ it is so common people don’t try to make their own.”

“You’re… insane.” Peter laughed. Now he knew Deadpool was just messing with him. Peter refused to believe he thought for even a second he even entertained the idea of Deadpool having a point… but there was something about being not believing everything you hear. 

Deadpool laughed too. “I saw you brooding up here and thought I’d come join you.”

“I wasn’t  _ brooding _ !” Mostly… 

“It’s okay. All heroes do it.”

“Yeah but  _ I _ wasn’t.”

“Oh. Ok. Then what were you thinking about before I got here?”

“...shut up. 

“Haha! That’s basically an admission that you were being angsty and a total typical hero!”

Peter stomped. “Was not!”

“Now you’re acting like a kid.”

Peter dropped his arms and straightened his back immediately. “I am man.”

Deadpool just nodded. “That’s what they all say.” 

“What do you even want, Deadpool?”

“I want you to call me something less formal. I have nicknames for you! Deadpool is such a mouthful.” He winked. 

“And what would you suggest.” Peter couldn’t help but cross his arms and cock his hip out. 

“Well, you could always call me Daddy~” 

“No fucking way.”

“I’m particularly fond of that one myself.”

“Not happening, D.”

“Ohhh I like that one ‘cause it could be for Deadpool or di-“

“Yes. Thank you. No more of that sentence, please.” Peter was always between laughing at the ludicrous things he says, or punching him because the words were too much for his virgin ears. And he was a high school student. He heard some pretty awful things both in the classroom and on the streets fighting crime. 

“I’m sure you could probably think of a better pet name.”

Pet name? Wade was talking about those early. It’s like when you learn a new word and suddenly start noticing it everywhere… and you wonder if it’s always been there or if the universe is like ‘you’re ready.’ And integrates it into your life. 

The second one sounds ridiculous, but he’s also a radioactive spider kid that fights crime… so. 

“Aww you’re lost in thought! So cute.”

“Am not!”

His SpideySense went off. 

“Don’t look now, but I’m preeeety sure there’s about to be a mugging in that alley right over there.” 

Peter went to swing over, not sensing Deadpool moving. “Well. Are you coming?”

“Wait, are you serious?”

“Well you can stay up here if you-“

“No way! Let's go!” He made for the fire escape… but it was a taller building. At least five stories. And those stares couldn’t be safe. Or sanitary. 

“That’ll take too long. Just come here.”

“Huh? How are you going to-“ Peter grabbed Deadpool around the waist, refusing to acknowledge how warm the taller figure was. 

Or how warm his face was. 

Before he could change his mind or Deadpool could think of something else to say, Peter jumped off the roof, shooting a web to the building closest to the alley they were aiming for. 

Deadpool clung to Peter like his life depended on it… which it did. But he seemed scared. 

Peter clung back, if only to reassure Deadpool he wouldn’t let him fall. 

He wasn’t very heavy… Peter had lifted much heavier, but he was also big. So he was a handful. Especially with him  _ squirming _ . 

Their landing wasn’t the most graceful, but Peter had definitely had worse in his first tries jumping from building to building…still very far from his best though. 

Peter disconnected the webbing. “You made that really difficult.” He whispered, trying to blend in with the shadows. 

“Well I’m sorry! I’m not used to acrobating it through the air on  _ thin string _ from my  _ wrist _ !”

“Shhh!” 

One guy had the other cornered. “Gimme everything of value and I’ll let you go. I don’t want to trouble, and neither do you, so just cough it up.”

“I-I don’t have anything!”

“Quit the bull shit.”

“I- I swear I’m telling the truth!” The mugger pulled a gun. 

“So am I. If you don’t have nothin, that would make this a bad night. Do you wanna know what happens on bad nights?”

Peter had been creeping up the whole time. Edging closer and closer. 

“Well,” Peter dodged the bullet, throwing his arm behind him to push Deadpool against the wall as well “On  _ your _ bad nights, I assume guys like us show up to stop you.”

“Fuck you.” The man went to shoot at them again, but Deadpool has thrown a piece of garbage (Peter was pretty sure it was actually a dead rat… but thinking it was garbage would help him sleep better at night) and disarmed him. 

“I’ll kill you both.”

“Wow. Someone has anger issues!” Deadpool gushed, stepping in front of Peter.  While they were witty bantering, Peter checked on the would-be victim. 

“Hey, you alright, buddy?”

“Y-yeah… thank you!”

“No problem, kid.” This kid was probably in his early twenties. So… older than Peter, but how would anyone know. God he was starting to sound like Tony. “You have a phone?” He nodded. “Good. Call the police. We’ll hang out with you until they get here.”

“R-really?”

“Of course. This kind of stuff is scary. I don’t want you to be alone until you’re a little calmer.” He pulled out his phone and Peter turned to look back, Deadpool was about to stab this guy. “Stop!” Just an inch from the guy’s neck, the katana paused. 

“Why?”

“You can’t kill him!” 

“He broke the law!”

“The police can handle it!”

“Stop yelling at me!”

“You stop yelling at  _ me _ !”

“You’re just too naive! The police will just let him go and we’ll be right back here same time tomorrow!”

Peter looked down at the mugger. “Hi. Do you want to die?” He walked closer so if need be he could put himself between the two. Now they were both standing in front of the man on the ground. 

The guy sniveled. “N-no, pl-please!”

“Are you going to cooperate and go willingly with the police?”

“Yes just d-don’t let this maniac cut my head off!”

“Okay. Don’t do this again. Deadpool, put it away.”

“But-“

“Listen! I am having a really bad night. Put it away or so help me I will leave you here.”

“That’s not much of a-“ Peter held up one of the guns that usually were adorning Deadpool’s belt. He didn’t know why he’d taken it, but he was glad it gave him an edge in this stand-off.

“And I won’t give this back!” Peter hated guns. They hurt. Like, a lot. And holding one went against, like, all of his morals. But it was also about to save a guys life… so… ya know. 

“I knew you weren’t just hugging me because you’re in love with me!”

“Put it away.” 

Deadpool grumbled, But did so. “Okay. Give it back. That’s one of my favorites.”

“Not ‘til the police get-“ while Deadpool’s back was turned, Peter saw the mugger move behind him. He was holding his gun again and aiming it at Deadpool, without thinking, Peter grabbed his arm and twisted around… unintentionally putting himself into the line of fire. 

There was the sound of a gunshot and intense pain ran through Peter. 

* * *

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment and like! Or don't whatever, love you!  
> Also, I don't know if there's any credits, but lemme know if I missed any!


	5. How'd that happen?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suuuuper exciting news, I got accepted to (all) college! And so, yeah. I'm kinda officially a college student! :)   
> Okay, and also, sorry for taking a few days, the way I do these is I always force myself to do one chapter and not let myself post it until I have the majority of the one AFTER that at least a good chunk.  
> So, yeah... And also I've been cleaning like crazy because we're refinancing our house.... (Lol yay adulting.)  
> Okay. Here's your chapter. It's kinda short... sorry, but at least it's not months away! (Refuses to acknowledge my other stories.)  
> Enjoy!  
> Xoxo,  
> ~Miss Taken

 

 

 

* * *

 

Tony was going to kill him. 

That’s all there was to it. Tony was actually going to murder him. He wasn’t even supposed to be out right now. His phone was at home. If Tony, on a whim, decided to check on him or contact him if he was too lazy to walk to Peter’s room… well. Then he’d go check the suit vitals. 

And he would see that Peter was losing quite a bit of blood, increase in heart rate, and maaaaybe some panic and shock brain waves. 

And if Peter didn’t die from blood loss right here, Tony would be sure to do it when he found out… or…  _ If _ he found out. 

If. If is good. 

It had only gone through some of the layers of his flesh… in the back of his shoulder… and yeah, it was bleeding profusely… but! He could wiggle his fingers, so… that was something. 

And Peter healed fast. So as long as Deadpool and that kid we’re okay, this was nothing. 

Okay. It still hurt like a bitch. But. He’d live… if he didn’t bleed out. 

Ugh. This is why guns suck. 

He looked up at Deadpool. “Gonna pass out. Wait for cops…” he felt himself fading. “No killin, D.” Just a quick pain nap. Five min. Tops. 

He felt himself being jostled around. He wanted to yell at them to stop. But he also didn’t want to move or open his eyes. 

“Hurts-“ he managed. 

He heard someone respond, but. Listen. Pain. Okay. 

He was in and out. He might have been carried, but it felt like he was being dragged over lots of sharp, jagged rocks. 

  
  
  


When he came to he was sitting on a weird recliner thingy. He tried to sit up, but his shoulder just wouldn’t allow it. Like. At all. 

He looked down, trying to see the wound. He imagined his suit would be a horrible mess… but the top half was folded down to his waist. His right arm, much to the left’s dismay, shot up to his face. His mask was still on, thank goodness. 

He looked around the dingy apartment. There were take out containers and pizza boxes everywhere. Suddenly he remembered what happened. 

“Crap, he’s gonna kill me.” Tony was going to kill him. He wasn’t bleeding out anymore… where was he anyway?

“H-hello?” He felt awkward calling from a sitting position, not being able to investigate as he talked. 

However, as he healed faster and better, it also hurt more. The human body took time for a reason… but hopefully the gunshot wound wasn’t that bad and in a few days it was just really sore. 

“Spidey?” Deadpool’s head poked out from behind a wall to what Peter assumed was the bedroom. 

“Are you okay? Is that kid okay? The police got that guy, right?”

“Am  _ I  _ okay? Baby Boy you just got  _ shot _ .”

“Doesn’t change my questions. What about the other two? What happened after I passed out?” Peter tried to stand up, but Deadpool lightly pushed him back down 

“Woah, slow down there partner. You lost a lotta blood. Gunshots to the shoulder hurt. I don’t even know how you didn’t die. That fucker didn’t know how to aim. It was like suuuuper close to a whole bunch of important blood vessels and shit. That and your collarbone somehow didn’t shatter. AND that the bullet actually went through all the way. You’re sooo lucky!”

“I literally just got shot.”

“Eh. Semantics.”

“Listen I don’t even care if you’re okay anymore. I have to go home.”

“You’re not allowed to move. Doctor’s orders.”

“You’re not a doctor.”

“I could be! You don’t know who I am!”

“Speaking of, why didn’t you take off my mask? You could have and I couldn’t have done anything.”

“Consent is sexy, Spidey.”

“No, really. What the hell?”

“Bros don’t out bros, bro.” Deadpool shrugged. “Plus, are you telling me you  _ would  _ have looked?”

“Well, no. I may be a curious person, but that’s really super important. Okay. Like. Life threatening important.” It was Peter’s turn to shrug… with one shoulder. “And you already basically owe me your life anyway.”

“I’m sorry  _ what _ ?”

“I literally jumped in front of a bullet for you.”

“Yeah well I stopped you from bleeding out!”

“The police were on the way. And I wouldn’t have jumped in front of a gun if it weren’t necessary.”

“Necessary? Uh. Yeah. You really don’t know much about me.”

“Uh. You like Mexican food. You’re an insufferable ass. You make things really difficult and you have no filter.”

“Oh. You know me pretty well… but I’m not just some guy running around in a suit. I’m a super person thing too!”

“Well. No… I didn’t know that… but still. I didn’t want you shot!”

“Aww how sweet!”

“And now I regret that. Very much.” Of course Peter didn’t. He would do it again in a heartbeat but Deadpool didn’t need to know that. 

“You know Wolverine? I’m him but waaaay cooler.”

“Uh… okay?”

“Just okay?! Dude, I’m awesome!”

“Well, from you being, well,  _ you _ , I was expecting something weird!”

“I. Can’t. Die. How is that not weird!”

“I can’t ride a bike without training wheels,  _ that’s _ weird.”

“You can’t ride a bike?”

“...I never got to practice much as a kid…”

“Wow. Okay… that’s pretty funny.”

“Shut up! Why’d I even tell you that?” Peter had just wanted Deadpool to not feel…  _ weird _ . Don’t get him wrong. Deadpool was a total nutcase… but not because he was a mutant. 

“Because you love me!”

“No.”

“You jumped in front of a bullet for me! You’re my hero!”

“Ugh. You’re ridiculous.”

“Guilty as charged.” 

“I really do have to go… My uncle-  _ cat _ . My  _ cat _ is at home. And he’s hungry.” Phew. That was a close one.

“Your uncle is a cat?”

Shit.

“Shit. Listen. He worries, and I need to get back before he notices I’m gone.”

“Wait, does he not know about the whole spider thing?”

“No…” He’d lied a fuck ton today anyways. And it was just Deadpool. The less the mercenary knew about him, the better. So… why did it feel so wrong to say? He hadn’t had a problem lying to Harry or, hell, even Tony! 

Peter was a hero when in the suit… what hero lies straight out?

“Okay.” Peter ducked his head. “He does… I’m sorry I lied.”

“It’s… okay?” Deadpool cocked his head. “I’m surprised you even said anything.”

“Me too, honestly…” Peter sat up to pull the top half of his suit back up. Without a word, Deadpool helped him put his bad arm into the sleeve of his suit. 

“Well, let me help you back.” 

It was tempting. It really was… and it wouldn’t be so weird to go to the Avenger’s tower… He was a hero… and there was no way he could swing his way over there. And he didn’t know where he was… 

But he had to make it look like he didn’t  _ live _ there. His identity was the only thing he would lie about.

“Actually… could you help me get to the Avenger’s Tower…? I can some extra gause and stuff like that.”

“Sure, no problem kid!”

“Do you know where it even is?”

“Well, duh. They call me in all the time in the DL. They may have a problem with dirty work, but I sure don’t.”

“You say it like it’s a good thing.” Peter cradled his arm. Walking would send shocks through his body and it would be awful. But it was way better than swinging…. there was no way he could hold a pencil let alone his whole body weight. He had never been more happy about it being Friday- well, Saturday, now.

Peter heard Deadpool sigh. If you walk that slow, we might get there before next week.”

“I’m trying! My healing factor is really good… but it’s not an instant thing.”

“Hm. Can’t relate.” He flipped imaginary hair.

“Oh shut it. There’s no way yours is instant.” Peter shuffled. If he didn’t pick his feet up, maybe it would help… and wear through his shoes… but whatever. 

“Wanna bet?”

“No! That’s an awful thing to bet on!” Peter didn’t want to see him hurt, even if it did go away immediately. “Healing factors don’t mean no pain, right? I literally jumped in front of a  _ bullet _ so you didn’t get hurt. Now if you get hurt I’ll take it personally!”

“I get hurt all the time! You’re gonna be taking a lot of things personally.”

“Well, stop being reckless!” Peter would have put his hands on his hips… 

“Oh my gosh. I’m gonna get road rage waiting for you. It’s a solid three miles to the tower. We’re literally never going to get there like this.” Deadpool was walking circles around him. Literally.

On the way down the stairs, Peter had to pause every other step to keep from crying. Deadpool of course was walking up and down the stairs, skipping multiples at a time only to try and jump back up the same number. Peter would admit he kind of a=wanted to trip him… but only because he was flaunting his perfectly working body- Wait no that sounded weird-

“What do you want. I can’t swing! And it hurts to walk…” 

“Oh… I didn’t know you were still in pain. You should have said something.”

Before Peter knew what was happening, he was lifted into the air. 

Deadpool was carrying him. Bridal style.

Peter wanted to demanded to be put down, but honestly he was so tired and Deadpool was surprisingly really gentle. Peter knew he was as red as his suit, but his mask was still on, so it was okay. 

“What. Nothing about honor or some pride bullshit?”

“ …It hurts really badly. So bad this is really not that bad…”

“You’re really light.”

“Yeah, yeah, muscles. Keep rubbing it in.” 

Actually, Peter hadn’t been eating well. He kept forgetting. Actually… when he ate with Wade today was the first time in like three days. He usually skipped lunch to work in the labs… and when he got home he trained a little with whoever wanted to then went on patrol… by the time he got back each night, he barely had enough kick left in him to take off his suit before he passed out. 

He was just so busy! 

“No, like. Unless you’re eleven, you’re underweight kinda light.”

“Eh. Don’t worry. It’s all the crime fighting and swinging around. I also have an unfortunately fast metabolism… and with the radioactive spider it only increased like tenfold.”

“Spider. I get it. Trust me, I do. But like, that’s not good for you. And it can fuck with your healing factor.”

Shit… that hadn’t even crossed his mind. But now that Deadpool had said something, he had noticed bruises lasting longer than normal… well it was an easy fix. 

“Do you even sleep?”

Crap. Great. Now Deadpool, a dude who Peter may or may not- NOT. He was definitely not! Crushing on… was worried about his health. 

“I’m fine. Don’t worry. I sleep through the day when I don’t have work.” Peter didn’t have a job… and also he didn’t sleep. It was nearly two in the morning now. He still needed to clean all the blood and stuff off his suit and himself… so he wouldn’t be in bed until like three or three thirty… then up at five. Normally. But he finally got to sleep in. Well, until Tony burst in at seven to talk to him about the undercover thing… then he was going out with Wade.

He also didn’t have a ‘job’ job… but school is called a job often enough. 

“Sure. Okay. As a person who doesn’t need sleep I call bull shit.” Peter was nodding off. Deadpool wasn’t jostling him and he was so warm. It was cold, so Peter’s lack of sleep was really catching up. Being in his arms was… 

Relaxing. Don’t ask him to repeat that though. And Deadpool’s voice was deep and really soothing and- No. This was sleep deprivation and blood loss talking. Shush, stupid traitorous thoughts. 

“Everyone needs sleep.”

“Well. It sucks not sleeping, but I can’t die… so.” 

“Hmm, well. I’m sorry for keeping you out so late then.” Peter’s eyes were closed, not that he thought Deadpool could see. 

He wouldn’t admit it, but it was comforting to be worried about. Steve made sure he kept up in workouts and Tony made sure about school work… but May was the one who made sure he was actually OKAY. He missed her… but he knew he was a burden on her. She worked so hard to support them both. 

Then Peter had started coming home after patrols… and that was it. May couldn’t take it. So when Tony offered to be a father figure, May hesitated, but she was always going to say yes. 

“So, super weird question-“

“Isn’t that all of your questions?”

“Okay, point.” Deadpool chuckled. “How did you become a badass superhero?”

“I was bit by a radioactive spider while visiting a science facility.” Peter didn’t want to go into much more detail. 

“Well. Okay that’s how you got your powers, but like, was your first instinct to start swinging around New York or, like how did  _ that _ -“ 

“Put me down.” Peter tried to struggle out of Deadpool’s hold. 

Peter couldn’t think about  _ how _ . He didn’t want to remember what he’d done to-

“Stop! I almost dropped you-“

Peter fell to the ground, he could feel a fresh fish of blood from his shoulder, but that didn’t matter. 

“Hey, what’s your deal?”

“Thanks for your help. I can make it from here.” A total lie, but Peter was definitely about to have a panic attack. He refused to address the problem for this exact reason. Maybe it wasn’t healthy. But you know what, neither was a fifteen year old swinging from buildings by thread every night. 

“Don’t kid yourself, you literally are about to fall over right now.” Deadpool tried to grab Peter’s shoulder. 

“I-just- I-“ Peter did something stupid. He shot a web up to the nearest building and swung away. It hurt incredibly badly, but it was that or pass out in front of Deadpool from hyperventilating. He’d already embarrassed himself enough today. 

He blanked out. Lost in thought, but somehow he got to the tower. He walked up to the door and when Jarvis answered, Peter didn’t bother with preamble. 

“It’s just me. I’m having a panic attack. Please let me in.” Or that’s what he tried to say… it came out more as sobs and a ‘don’t tell Tony’ probably. 

Jarvis didn’t ask. Peter was grateful, to say the least. And someone up there must have decided he’d had enough tonight because Tony wasn’t standing there when he got to their floor. 

When he got to his room, he stripped off the suit, deciding to scrap it. He’d salvage parts from it… he didn’t want to wash the blood out now… and that meant it would stain. 

He got in the shower. “Jarvis, can you soundproof the bathroom…?” He didn’t know if it was possible, and it sounded suspicious, but it didn’t matter. 

“Yes, Mr. Parker.” A sound. “I’ll turn it off when you leave the room.”

“Thanks, buddy.”

Peter let out as loud of a scream as he could. From pain, frustration, you name it. 

He had had panic attacks as a small child but they were few and far between. When… after… 

after, They happened much more frequently. 

They hadn’t happened very much recently. Peter was always on the go. He didn’t really have even a second to sleep, it was good… it also meant there was no time to overthink things. 

But when Deadpool has asked… suddenly it all caught up. 

He really needed to talk to someone. Tony was out of the question. Ned was too. Harry? No. That was weird. 

His mind whispered something… and Peter had to agree. 

_ Wade. _

* * *

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was it?   
> Any guesses what happens next?  
> I actually don't have time right this very second to cite things... But as always, any questions just lemme know!  
> (I absolutly am a whore for all attention lol so pop in and say hi in the comments!)  
> Have a great day!   
> Xoxo,  
> ~Miss Taken


	6. Good Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Super short chapter... Sorry! But this is more of a break between... which is code for this stupid chapter wouldn't transition, so I ended it... lol sorry I've been kinda absent... I got asked to Prom, I got accepted to college... I am gearing up for a huge choir competition and I've also been working my ass off at my job lol... And NOW I'm being forced to have a graduation party with a whole bunch of people I didn't even know I knew!!   
> My mom goes "Hey, I invited like 90 people... but don't worry, only like 60 will show-" And, like, I'm not really a people person, okay.  
> But hey, 60 people, 60 presents?  
> Anyway enjoy this really short chapter, I just wanted ya'll to know I'm not dead and neither is the story (yet)   
> Xoxo,  
> ~Miss Taken

 

 

* * *

 

Wade slammed the door when he got home. 

Why the fuck had he said anything. When the little hero brushed his question off the first time he should have backed off. But no. He had to push it. 

[You're just a fuck up.]

{You probably scared him! That’s like suuuuper personal info, dude.}

Wade stripped angrily. His poor suit landed somewhere unknown. 

He stomped back and forth, not even knowing what to do. He wanted to go find the Spider… but that was just about the worst idea ever. 

[He’ll never want to see you again.]

{And not  _ just _ because of your gross face!}

Wade needed a distraction, suddenly his phone chimed. 

 

**_Da Ding!_ **

**_“Hey, I know it’s like three in the morning but you up?”_ **

 

It was a text from Peter. White and Yellow didn’t say anything. 

He texted back. 

 

_ “Yep. I’m aaaalllllways up, especially for cuties like you! ;)” _

 

{Weirdo}

 

**_“Cool. Yeah. Um. So. Like… totally weird, but can you distract me?”_ **

 

This kid. Wade laughed. He needed one too! 

 

_ “Sure no prob. What for?” _

 

**_“Uhh… panic attack…”_ **

 

Oh. Oh shit. 

Wade didn’t fuck around with texting. He dialed the number, not really thinking about it. 

_ “Oh, uh. Hi, Wade. S-sorry… I- I’m pathetic.” _ He laughed weakly and Wade could hear the ragged breathing. 

“No you’re not. I get them too.” 

[Don't tell him that!]

{...I’m actually with Wade. Calm the cutie down!}

_ “R-really?” _

“Yep. So don’t worry. It’s okay. Have you had one before?”

_ “Yeah… but not in a while.” _

“Okay and do you know what normally calms you down?”

Peter was silent. 

“Petey?”

_ “M-my uncle.” _

“Awesome! Now where is he?”

A big sob.  _ “H-he’s dead.” _

[Dammit, Wade.]

“Alright. Well what did he used to do?” Wade didn’t want to fuck around with condolences and pity. 

_ “He-he would hug me and talk to me… about anything.”  _

“Well, I’m not there to hold or hug you, but I can sure as hell talk.” Peter chuckled slightly, but it didn’t sound forced. That was good. 

“So whaddya wanna hear about? I’ve got some great gossip on Wolverine. He’s a big bag of dicks.”

_ “Why do you hate him so much?” _ Peter chuckled again. His breathing wasn’t sounding as erratic. 

“He stole my thunder. And he’s a total asshat. And also I don’t look nearly as good in yellow as he does and it pisses me off.” All true. That and last time he and Logan were in the same room, Logan stabbed him in the dick. But this poor kid didn’t need to know that. 

[That's because you tried to kiss him, you know. Colossus is the only one besides teenage sparkle finger whatever who even tolerates you.]

_ “Yeah, he always scared me… I’m glad I haven’t had to meet him yet.”  _

Wade didn’t want to launch into complicated backstory things right now, so he settled on questions. 

“Soooo who’s your favorite superhero?”

_ “Do anti heroes slash vigilantes count?” _

“Eh, sure, why not. Aren’t all superheroes kind of vigilantes?”

_ “Point… okay then I’d have to say Deadpool.” _

And Wade had never wished he’d been listening more intently.  _ He _ was Petey’s favorite?  _ Why? _ What the hell? 

He tried not to sound strained. “Any particular reason?”

_ “Well, lots!” _

[Wow. He can’t even name one.] 

“Oh…”

_ “Well, why do you like  _ Spider-Man  _ so much?” _

“Other than him having an  _ incredible _ ass?”

_ “Wade!” _ Peter laughed.  _ “You can’t just say things like that!” _

“No but like, his morals? I wish I could be like that! And he swings around with such grace? I’m pretty sure he’s a ballerina.”

_ “Maybe he took classes when he was younger…” _

“Sure. Maybe. I don’t know, and I don’t care. It’s impressive.”

_ “I guess…” _

“So you avoided my question, why  _ Deadpool _ of all people?”

_ “Well… he’s super cool, first of all.” _

[What a generic answer]

“Shut up, he’s like twelve.” Oh, shit. He’d said that out loud.

_ “I’m pretty sure he’s older than twelve…” _ Peter giggled.

“I wasn’t talking to you, but you’re right, he’s probably like a million.”

_ “Noooo, you’re so silly. He’s like, well, he acts like he’s three, but there’s no way he’s over thirty.” _

{Ohhh, he’s good.}

[Well, how does he know? He’s never seen us!]

“How do you know?”

Silence.  _ “You know Youtube exists, right, old man?” _

“Low blow, man.” Wade laughed. “Okay, but anything on the internet can’t be trusted, right?”

_ “Eh, I’m pretty confident in my scores.” _

“Which ones? I can tell you if they’re accurate.”

_ “Really? How?” _

“I know the guy.”

_ “You- how- What!” _

“Yep, I’m chummy with your favorite superhero.”

[Anti-Hero]

_ “... I kinda know Spiderman… But you can’t tell anyone.” _

“Oh, you’re pulling my leg, I know him too!”

_ “How??” _

“Work. Kinda.” 

_ “He didn’t tell me about you!” _

“Did you tell him about me?”

_ “I… haven’t seen him since I met you.” _

“Maybe I’m Spiderman!”

Peter snorted.  _ “No way. You’re way bigger.” _

“Are you calling me fat.”

_ “No! You’re just taller and… broader.” _

“Thick with three Cs.”

They both burst into fits of laughter. When they had calmed down a little, Wade said “Okay, Petey. I was thinking we meet in the park tomorrow at, say, one? We can eat late lunch and yell at some old people.”

_ “Sure! But I’m paying this time.” _

“The fuck you are.”

_ “Wade. I’m paying! I called it.” _

“Damn, little dude, you got me there.”

_ “Ha! Also, I cannot  _ wait _ to tell you some hot gossip.” _

“Just tell me now!”

_ “No. I’ll tell you tomorrow because the favor is actually going to be explained then. Trust me. It will be great.” _

“Cliffhangers. I hate those.”

[*clears throat*]

{Yeah Author lady-}

[shut up, that was too direct. We need to be more subtle.]

{Name one subtle thing we’ve ever done.}

[... point.]

_ “Me too! Ugh. I just want the next bit  _ now _. Patients is not one of my virtues…” _

“I’d say you’ll grow into it… but I didn’t, so. There’s basically no hope for you.”

_ “Gee, thanks, Wade.” _ Peter yawned.  _ “Okay. I feel a lot better now… thank you… I’m sorry I’m so pathetic.” _

“Oh hush. You’re basically perfect. Get some sleep and we’ll hang out tomorrow.”

_ “...Thank you, Wade.” _

“Every time, baby boy.”

And the line went dead. 

Wade actually slept for once.

* * *

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ref Check:  
> 'Wade stripped angrily" Is the best sentence I have, and ever will, write. Like, that's my favorite sentence ever. lol  
> Yes, I did @ myself for leaving you guys on a cliffhanger... sorry!  
> Petey's Panic attack is based off the last really bad one I had lol, maybe that's why this was so hard to write? I called my friend and we talked about super heroes and other arbitrary shit while I went on a not-so-safe 3 mile walk at one in the morning around my neighborhood until I was calm enough to go home.   
> But for real, if you're having an attack, call someone or talk to someone! It doesn't have to be a super close friend, just someone who will talk to you... It probably won't fix it immediately, but it really does help!  
> Okay, I'll shut the fuck up now. Love you all!  
> Hopefully the next chapter is longer and come out quicker lmao... (Yeah right XD)  
> Xoxo,  
> ~Miss Taken


	7. Realizations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! This one is a liiiiitle longer than the last... But hey, progress! I, uh, changed the name of this story from 'To Set The Stars On Fire' to 'Sempere Piu' which is a music term (Yes I'm a fucking nerd, okay.) that means 'always moving' and... well I thought that was cute. I'm weird okay. If you like the other title better, lemme know.  
> Sorry about mistakes; grammatical, spelling, ethical, etc.  
> I also took some liberates... but you know what, it's my life, it's now or never. I ain't gonna live forever.  
> Enjoy!  
> Xoxo,  
> ~Miss Taken

 

 

 

* * *

 

Peter passed out as soon as his head hit the pillow. Maybe a little before. He was not ready to get up the next day, even as he fell into sleep. He hoped he didn’t dream tonight, because if he did, he knew they’d be nightmares. 

It wasn’t until eleven in the morning that Jarvis opened the curtains and told him Tony was waiting for him in the kitchen. 

His first thought was that his shoulder was absolutely killing him… then he remembered he’d been shot. So, it made sense, but still. Because of that and the fact that Tony had all the medicine in his room, and would totally want to take a look, Peter would just have to deal with the pain.

“Thanks, J.” Peter slurred. As he rolled out of bed. He didn’t bother getting dressed. Pajamas were basically all he wore at home and he didn’t have anywhere to actually be until he went to the park. 

He peeled off his shirt, ignoring all the blood. He looked at the gunshot wound in the mirror, wincing as he saw it still was oozing a little blood. It looked like it hadn’t still been bleeding, but he’d torn what slight scab there had been. He cleaned the dried blood off his shoulder and upper body, stripped his bed, and threw on more pajamas. He was so glad he did his own laundry. 

“Good morning, Peter.” Steve waved. 

“Heya, squirt.” 

“Hi, Steve. Hi, Bucky.” He sat at the table. Not grabbing anything to eat, he wasn’t hungry yet. 

“Kid,” Tony greeted as he sat. “Alright, let's get this started.” Tony took a sip of his coffee. “Sp, to quickly run this down, Pete, we need you to infiltrate Osborn Industries by going undercover as yourself but as Harry’s fake boyfriend. This is because we have in-tell from credible sources that they are doing some morally questionable things. And that they want Spider-Man to use as a test subject.”

Steve held his hand up. “Wait, you mean to tell me we’re sending Peter into the hands of those who want to experiment on him?”

“I talked to him about it yesterday. He knows.”

“No, Tony. He doesn’t. You cannot send him in.” Steve shook his head.

“We have no one else.” Tony said through ground teeth. “I can take care of him.” He set his coffee cup down a little harder than necessary. 

“We both know that’s not-” Steve started, but Peter cut him off.

“We talked about it. I’m perfectly capable. I’m not a kid anymore. It’s not even that hard. I thought about it and Harry knows I’m a nerd. He’d probably jump at the chance to impress me, bonus points because it’s top secret and it would piss Mr. Osborn off.” 

“See,” Tony used his arm to motion at Peter. “He doesn’t even need help.”

“And if they should find out his secret identity?” He stood up, he chair almost falling, only being caught by Bucky. “Do you know what they could do to him?”

“It’s not like we don’t know where he’ll be. Look, Steve, I’m not here to fight. This is happening. Are you helping or not.”

Steve just dropped back into his chair.

“Thank you.” Tony put down a hologram device, pulling up the blueprints of Oscorp. “Okay. This level,” He pointed to one at the fourth floor below the ground. “Is where they say the building stops, but, as you can see, there are another four floors below that. Peter, your job is to find out as much as you can about what’s in these four floors and tell us everything. 

“You are not, and I mean  _ not _ to try anything by yourself. Like, seriously, kid. Not even just for your safety. If they find out you were a spy, they could unleash whatever bad stuff they got cooking immediately.”

Peter nodded. 

“And if they find out about who he-”

“They won’t.”

“We need to have a plan for if they  _ do _ .”

“Fine. Peter, I’m going to make you a device that will immediately signal me. Focus on Harry, what do the kids say? Slide into his DMs.”

“Stop, my ears are bleeding.” Peter groaned.

Tony chuckled, standing. “Am I too hip for the room?”

“Your so old you’re gonna throw your hip out walking  _ through _ the room.” Steve crossed his arms laughing as well. They walked out, discussing the new device Peter would need before he was allowed to go into the lower levels of Oscorp. Peter looked over at Bucky, who’d been quiet. 

“Are you okay?”

Bucky shook his head a little. “Uh, yeah, hey, listen, kid. If you don’t want to do this, you don’t gotta tell Tony. Tell me and I’ll raise some hell for you.” 

“It’s okay. I think it’s gonna be fun.” Peter smiled, but Bucky didn’t smile back.

“That’s what I thought too, kid. I’m not kidding, people who use humans as subjects for demented tests… well, I won’t scare you… but seriously. Any point you want out, let me know.”

Peter nodded. “Okay… Thanks, Uncle B.” Bucky stood, patting Peter on the head, messing his hair up even more.

“Dude! I have a da-” Shit shit shit shit-

Bucky spun around. “You have a  _ what _ ?”

“N-Nothing! Don’t tell Tony!”

“Oh my god. Petey has a date!”

“I-I meant with Harry?”

“That sounded like a question Petey boy.” Bucky jumped up and sat on the table. “So who’s the lucky girl?”

“I-It’s not- I mean- I don’t have a date!”

“Oh, so a boy~ Who is it, do I know him? Wait, how are you going to fake date that Osborn kid?”

“That’s a little what this meeting-”

“Date,”

“ _ Meeting _ is about…”

Bucky threw himself back like a stereotypical teenage girl gossiping. “I can’t believe it! Wait til I tell Steve!”

“Damn it, Bucky,” Peter looked through the door Tony and Steve had gone out. “Keep it down! You can’t tell him… You know how he gets and he’ll tell Tony… I don’t want them to scare this guy off…”

“I would also kindly ask that you get off the table like that.” Jarvis said in a clipped tone.

“Sorry, Robo Butler.” Bucky hopped up. “Well, do you have an outfit?”

“U-Uh I was just going to wear normal clothes?”

“I don’t thinks so. Come on, I’ll help.” Bucky grabbed his arm, pulling him up. Peter tried not to scream in pain. A squeak did escape though and Bucky laughed, thinking it was just Peter being Peter.

  
  


When all was said and done, an hour had passed and Peter was left to run to the park otherwise he’d be late. He knew Wade probably wouldn’t care, but it was the principle of the thing. This was their first date! Wait- not a date. Damn it, Bucky.

Even if it wasn’t a date, Peter was excited. 

Peter pulled out his phone when he got to the park, only to immediately see Wade sitting on a bench, big hoodie, Peter would admit he was pleased to see it was the Spiderman one, dark pants, and, again, face covered. Peter didn’t really even register it, really, he was actually already used to it. But other than that he looked really good. 

“Wade!” Peter ran over. “Hello,” Peter waved.

“How’s it goin’ Petey?” Wade said. 

“Great! How are you?”

“Eh. I’m not a fan of the cold, really.”

“Oh, this isn’t even that bad yet!” Peter laughed. It was actually unusually warm for the time of year it was. Global warming.

“That’s the problem! It’s only going to get worse.” Wade shook his head distastefully. “Anyway! What’s this ‘hot gossip’ you’ve got?”

Peter’s stomach chose that moment to betray him and growled loudly. Peter blushed heavily.

Wade stood, turning toward the entrance of the park. “Come on. We’ll get some food then come back.”

“Sounds like a plan, Stan.” Peter was glad he’d brought some money.

“Did you forget my name already? Petey, you wound me.” He dramatically sighed and put his hand to his head in a mock swoon.

“Oh, Wade, you know you’re the only gal for me!” Peter grinned. He felt like he’d known Wade a lot longer than like, fifteen hours. That was crazy, of course, but they just joked so easily.

“Good. I’m not a side chick kinda girl.”

“Who said  _ you’d _ be the side chick?”

“Peter! I’m shocked at you!”

“Hey, it’s not my fault I got mad game.”

They dissolve into giggles. When they had stopped enough to at least talk, Wade asked what Peter wanted to eat. 

“Uh, I’m open to anything, but I will throw pizza out as a suggestion… I could smash a whole one by myself right now!” Peter laughed, but he wasn’t joking. He was just realizing he also hadn’t eaten dinner either. He cradled his shoulder. It was common place to just have people bump into you on the streets and Peter knew his arm was too sore and still kinda bleeding to let that be an occurrence. He definitely wouldn’t be able to keep from yelling in pain.

“Duuuude, I was actually thinking the same fucking thing!”

“We must be connected telepathically.”

“Hoo boy, that’s a big word.” Peter laughed as he let Wade lead them to whatever pizza place they were going to.

“Not really! I know a lot of big words!”

“Iridocyclitis. That’s the only one I got.”

“Uh, what does that mean?”

“Hell if I know. It was in a vine.”

“Uh, what?”

“You don’t know what vine is?” Peter shook his head. “Oh you poor loser. I’ll have to educate you.”

“Ooookay…?” Peter noticed they were at another little truck. Pizza this time. They strolled up and Wade greeted the lady behind the counter.

“Heya Nichole!” The lady turned around and appeared to be very pregnant… but Peter knew better than to say anything like that.

“Oh, hello, Wade!” She was petite and very sweet looking. “How are you, dear?”

“I’m doing wonderfully. How are you?”

“Just fine, who’s this darling?” She asked Peter.

“I’m Peter, ma’am.”

“Pleasure.” She shook his hand, leaning down. “So, what can I get for you, two handsome young men?”

Wade pushed Peter a little ahead so he could order first. Peter pulled out his money just in case Wade tried to pay again. After Wade was done ordering, Nichole told them it would be about ten minutes.

“Awesome. How’s little Wade?”

Nichole laughed and put her hand on her belly. “Oh,  _ she’s _ doing fine.”

“She? I thought you and Andy were waiting to see what the baby was! Damn, now I have to give him twenty- Oh my god wait, did he play me? Did he already know!” 

“We were never going to let it be a surprise… Andy played you, sweetie.”

“Damn it! Ohh, I’m so kicking your husband’s-” A man walked out from behind the trailer. “Oh heeey Andy, how are you!”

Andy smiled. “Where’s my money, Willson?”

“Okay, listen. That deal was tooootally unfair!”

“And yet you made it.”

Wade grumbled about gambling and handed over a twenty and a little card that said ‘Congrats! It’s a girl’

Nichole chuckled and did the universal crazy sign against her temple. “I swear, those two are at each other’s throats constantly, but they’re just playing, I promise.” She was holding their order in her hands.

“I believe you.” Peter scooped up his food, deciding to let Wade carry his own. “Hey, while they’re distracted, what was the total?”

“I don’t charge Wade.”

“Okay, for me then?”

“Nope.”

“...How much would you have charged for us?”

“Twenty one fifty.”

Peter dropped twenty five dollars into the tip jar. “Honey, really, it’s on the house. Don’t worry about it.”

“Miss, you’re out here in the cold doing hard work and I haven’t tried this yet, but I’m sure this is the best looking thing like, ever… just take my money!” Peter laughed.

“You and him are so much alike.” Nichole smiled sweetly. Peter just smiled. He didn’t believe her, Wade was awesome and super funny, Peter was just… Peter.

Andy had Wade in a loving headlock. “Wade-Darling, let’s go or I’ll dump you right here and now!” Peter laughed as Wade ran over to him. 

“You can’t break up with me if I break up with you first!”

“Boys.” Nichole gave the ‘mom’ look. “Do not drop that pizza. I work very hard for it to be perfect.” 

“Yes, mother.” Wade saluted. “How much do we owe you today m’lady?”

“One, you don’t get to pay me. Two, your wonderful boyfriend here already forced me to take his money.”

“Petey, you betrayed me! You went behind my back! How dare you!”

“I told you I was paying next time.” He shrugged. Not even really minding Nichole thought they were dating… that’s kinda what they wanted people to think, right? 

“Back stabber.”

“Drama queen.” They started walking away. “Thanks, Nichole! Bye, Andy!” Peter turned back to Wade. “I really like them.”

“Oh yeah, they’re amazing people.”

“Okay. Ready for the hot gossip?”

“Oh my god, yes.” Wade looked like he was going to jump with joy. “I’ve only been waiting for like ever!”

“Okay. Totally top secret. Like I swear on Deadpool. It’s that top secret.”

“Ooooooh. I can totally get behind some top secretness.”

“I’m going…” Peter paused for dramatic effect. “Undercover!”

“Peter that’s insane!” Wade… well he didn’t say it in a good way, like Peter had expected. He actually sounded like he thought it was insane. “You are way too young to be going undercover for a top secret mission for Tony fucking Stark. He can do it his goddamn self.”

“I’m old enough and mature enough!” Peter argued. “And I have to do it. You didn’t even here why!”

“I don’t care. Petey, one, this is top secret, you shouldn’t have told me anyway. Two, it doesn’t matter. Undercover is undercover. And you’re going in alone? No way. We’re going to talk to Stark right now.” 

“I’m going undercover as Harry’s boyfriend!”

Wade stopped. “Wait- that’s not why I thought… okay. Explain.”

“I’m going to be his fake boyfriend to find out the company secrets… it’s kinda a dick move, but Tony things they  have a weapon program and we should find out about it so we can do something to stop it.” Peter huffed. “I’m just doing recon. I’m not allowed to do anything cool.”

Wade was quiet for a few seconds. “Okay. I can see the reasoning behind it… Harry’s already shown interest in you… and they wouldn’t suspect you… Damn it, kid. I’m angry this makes sense.”

“So was Steve.”

“You know Captain America!?” 

“Uh… yeah… he’s kinda like my uncle… ish.”

“And you didn’t think to tell me this!”

“Well… no. It’s kind of a secret.”

“I know Captain America’s sort of nephew. This is amazing.”

“Aaannnnd my other uncle, Bucky, kinda sorta knows about you… or, well, knows I’m on a date right now…”

“I knew it was a date!” Wade seemed to realize he said that out loud. “Sorry, I was arguing with some annoying people earlier that this totally  _ was _ a date.”

“Well, it is if you want it to be…” 

“Well, we are fake dating.”

“Exactly. Also Tony may also know about you… also as a fake boyfriend… but, yeah… he actually said I should ask you about the fake relationship with Harry! It was really funny.”

Wade snorted. “Yeah, little does he know!”

When they got back to the park, their food was gone. All that remained was their paper plates and Peter had a small piece of crust left. He threw it down to the right of him.

A pigeon landed.

“You know,” Peter started. “My friend tried to convince me pigeons are just government spies.” Peter didn’t know when he had started calling Deadpool a friend, but he figured it was kinda true. That and he was using Deadpool’s description for his fake boyfriend.

“Well, that’s cause they totes are.”

“Oh my god, not you too.” He groaned.

“This hot guy I know tried to tell me he believes in dolphins.” Wade scoffed, but, Peter didn’t really pay attention. He was caught up on what Wade had said… Deadpool had told him about pigeons… and Peter had talked about Dolphins… 

It had to be a coincidence, right…?

But… Peter didn’t really believe in that…

But there was not way this guy was-

How could he even ask without giving himself away?

‘Hey bud, did any of your friends get shot yesterday?’ Yeah. no.

“-etey, Petey!” Wade was snapping in his face. “Phew, thought I lost ya for a sec. Where’d ya go?”

“Uh, listen. I… what do you think of Deadpool?”

“He’s a no good ass who does everything wrong.” That was quick… “But he does have a great ass, not gonna lie.” Wade wouldn’t look in Peter’s direction. “Did you know he’s crazy? Like actual crazy. He hears voices.” Wade shook his head and right then Peter decided that this was not what he thought of Deadpool… it’s what he thought of himself. It didn’t matter if they were the same.

“I don’t think so. I think he’s super sweet.”

“You said you’ve never met him.”

“No I didn’t… I said I trust my sources. Well, I trust myself.” Peter put his hands on his hips, regretting the shoulder strain immediately. He was so sure the man in front of him was… Looking at it this way, it really did make a lot of sense.

“Well, you’ve met him. You should know how bad of a person he-”

“You know he was there the night my uncle was shot?”

That shocked Wade into silence. Peter figured he didn’t even remember. It had been nearly two years ago. “No… I didn’t know that.” Wade sounded angry. “What did he do to the old man?”

“Nothing. He came because he said he heard a gunshot. We were in the car… on the way to the library and this man tried to take the car. My Uncle Ben was the most calm person ever, but I know he usually just put up that face for me and my aunt… But he tried to talk the man out of it, the dude pulled a gun and… well the gun went off. 

“The shooter ran and I jumped out of the back seat to see my uncle laying on the dirty pavement, bleeding out.

“Do you know what his last words to me were? ‘I love you Peter. Remember, with great power comes great responsibility.’ I was hiding in the back seat under a blanket for almost half an hour while I heard sirens and people shouting… but I could only hear the ringing in my ears… They didn’t even know I was in there, but a guy in red leather pulled me out. He said ‘Don’t worry, kid. I got you.’ From that day forth, he was my hero. And he always will be.” 

He knew he couldn’t tell Wade he knew his secret identity… even if he’d figured it out fair and square… but Peter could at least say thank you to him indirectly.

“Wow… He… he really did that?”

“Yes. So, yeah, say all the bad crap you want, but he’s a great man. Or woman, it’s 2019, I’m not getting into that mess.” Peter laughed.

Suddenly he was scooped up in a hug. Wade was leaning down, sounding like he was trying not to cry.

Peter patted his back, hugging back. “Hey, there, big guy… you okay?”

“I’m so sorry about your uncle.”

“Well… It still hurts… but it’s okay. He was a great man and he died trying to do the right thing. I know he wouldn’t have gone out any other way.”

“You’re such a strong kid.” 

“Wade, pity party me again and we’re done.” Peter rubbed Wade’s back. 

He leaned up, wiping his eyes. “Noted.”

“Alright. Wanna hit the arcade? The day is still young and I don’t have to be back home for, like, hours!” Peter hopped off the bench.

“You’re so fucking on!”

“Just letting you know, I excel in basically anything electronic.”

“Nerd.”

“You bet your butt!” 

They raced to the arcade, not really racing, more just both wanting to get there faster, when they saw some guy trying to pickpocket Peter.

“Excuse me, little man.” Wade towered over this guy. “That is my boyfriend’s wallet you seem to have found.” The guy shivered and gave it right back. Peter was at least glad he hadn’t gotten shot again.

“Thanks, Honey!” Peter grinned.

“Every time, Dear.”

They arrived at the arcade and stared at each other.

“Ready to lose?”

“You wish old man!”

* * *

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How waaas it?  
> Okay, I asked before, but literally no one answered, do you guys like to read from Peter's POV more or Wade's?  
> I think I like to switch, but I like you people's input.  
> Anyway, Credits!  
> In the opening note I referanced 'It's my life' By Bon Jovi (I think)  
> The 'Iridocyclitis' kid vine lol. love that one. Iridocyclitis is actually the swelling of the iris... it's not fun, okay. Okay Anatomy class is out.  
> Nichole is actually one of my regular customers who IS very pregnant and, yes, she does own a food truck that sells pizza! reaaaaly good shit too lol. Yes her baby is a girl... Her husband is not named Andy... but I forgot... so... sorry Not Andy!  
> Also, fun fact, as I was writing about pizza I started craving it and we were supposed to get McDonalds (Ew) and my mother texted me and said "eh. let's have pizza" so I ordered it and the delivery boy was pretty cute ok. And I said that to my mother and she goes 'you think everyone is cute' and, well, she's not wrong. I'mma ho... not really lol  
> Anyway, super off topic.   
> I love comments and kudos! (And favorites... but like, this isn't over yet and so, how can you have something incomplete as your favorite?)  
> Oh! Last thing! I got asked to prom! By the dude I've had a crush on for like ever! Ugh. So cool.   
> Okay.  
> okay, for real last thing. If you like to read or listen to people read, there's this story called 'What happens when you write a letter to Satan instead of Santa' and I binge listened to the whole 8 parts. OMG it's so amazing, okay.ugh.  
> Have a beautiful day or whatever!  
> Good night!  
> Xoxo,  
> ~Miss Taken


	8. What's going on hheeerre. Bekfest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol, I have no excuse for the title of this chapter. It was the first thing that came to mind. It's early and I'm in class (lol, shocking, I know.)  
> I'm sorry for my absence recently, I'm... kinda starting another story... don't hate me!   
> Buuuut.... would you guys want to see this one as more Spideypool or Starker?  
> ...or both?  
> Idk.   
> Uh. Enjoy the chapter!  
> I loooove comments and the like!  
> Xoxo,  
> ~Miss Taken

 

 

 

* * *

 

Peter didn’t know how to make sure he wasn’t just going crazy. He was really sure there was a lot of evidence to think this. Wade was totally Deadpool… but, like, how could he ask? What if he wasn’t? Then Wade, or Deadpool, could figure out who Peter was… and while Peter thought he trusted both of them, he didn’t want to possibly hurt either of them in any way if he was wrong… so maybe he should just keep quiet? 

Ugh this was so frustrating. He should just come out and ask either of them. No, wait. That was dumb as hell. 

Craaaaaap. Why did he have to be so observant? Okay… well. He’ll just pretend he doesn’t suspect anything. Because, really, he didn’t have  _ that _ much to go on!

Just a shared conversation. 

A really, really,  _ really _ obscure one, but it’s okay. 

And he knew Deadpool heard voices… and Wade sometimes whispered things under his breath… but that could actually be anything… and that was rude to ask.

And also Deadpool and Wade’s shared stature… but there were plenty of tall, strong guys. But their voices were… well now Peter didn’t know… he thought they might be the same… but now that he really tried, he couldn’t think of it. It’s okay. He… he would just ask Deadpool something weird… like-

Oh! What color his eyes are! Wade’s are beautiful blue, like ice… so. If he knew Deadpool’s, he would at least have a little more evidence. 

No, wait… that was stupid. That was a weird question… then again it  _ was _ Deadpool. He would think it was normal. But then again, Peter didn’t ever ask about what he looked like before… Ugh. No. He was set. He was going to ask Deadpool what color his eyes were tonight.

…That sounded less childish in his mind.

Deadpool, possibly Wade, would this he was stupid. But he was so curious… and yeah, yeah, curiosity and the cat, whatever.

Peter, for some reason, needed to know if it was Wade and it seemed rude to just ask Deadpool’s super secret identity when he hadn’t sated his own curiosity when Peter had been unconscious.  

He’d just wing it. 

With that finality, he concentrated on the game and beat Wade for the thirteenth time in an hour.

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
  


Wade didn’t like the look of deep concentration on Peter’s face. He knew that meant he was about to lose this game horribly or the kid was overthinking… and neither was good news for him.

[He’s thinking of an escape plan]

{But he showed up? Why would he run? That doesn’t make sense, White.}

“Shut up, guys.” Wade whispered harshly. 

“Huh?” Peter looked up from the seat of the racing game he’d just crushed Wade at. He looked so small and innocent. 

[He  _ is _ so small and innocent.]

“I didn’t say anything.” Wade brushed Peter’s questioning off. 

{Yeah, don’t want him knowing you’re bat shit crazy!}

“Shut  _ up _ .” Wade was usually really good about not answering them-

[{No you’re not}] 

Okay, no he wasn’t… but it was very noticeable now that he had to stop himself from just having an open conversation with himself.

Peter cocked his head. But didn’t comment. He looked like he was filing something away in an imaginary cabinet. 

“Wanna play that one next?” Wade pointed at some generic shooting game.” 

Peter looked over to where Wade was pointing. “That one…?”

“Hell yeah. This one I  _ know _ I got you beat in.” Wade jumped over to it, shoving quarters in. 

{Yessss! Blood and shooting!}

[Just win the stupid game to assert dominance or whatever.]

Peter just stared at the gun… but he didn’t pick it up. “Wade… Um… I actually pulled a muscle in my shoulder and I can’t play this one… but I’ll watch you.”

“Uh… okay.” Wade was concerned. But he also wanted to impress Peter with his marksmanship. 

He started up the game and lost himself. By the time he was done he had a high score. He grinned widely turning around, only to see Peter white as a sheet. “Uh, Pete…?”

{You stupid-}

[He just told you his uncle was shot. Great going dumbass.]

“Fuck, Petey, I’m sorry- I-”

“That. Was _. Awesome. _ ” Peter shot into a million questions. He looked… like he’d figured something out.

“How’d you do that? Did you cheat? I didn’t even see you use another quarter!” Peter was talking really fast. 

“Jeez kid, I know I’m impressive… but I just have no life.”

[If only.]

“Shut up, white.” Peter didn’t ask.

{Oh my god, he’s perfect. Keep him.}

[Not you too!]

{What can I say, he’s really cute.}

[I share a body with two perverts.] 

“Ya know. You would look good in leather.” Peter’s voice cut through Wade’s literal inner argument. What the fuck. That was such a weird thing to say. 

“Uhhh-”

“Wait, that was a really weird thing to say-” Peter threw his hands up in front of his chest in defense. “It was just a random thought- and- uh.”

{Common, White, that’s fucking adorable.}

[No comment.]

“Don’t worry about it, kid. I look good in basically everything, so.” Wade was using overconfidence to hide aaaalllll the insecurities.

“You got me there…” Peter was blushing now. 

“Wait, shit, are you flirting with me?” 

[What the fuck kinda question was that.]

“No! Well, yes, but not in a weird way!”

Oh no. Wade could see Peter was about ask a question… and he knew what it was.

“Okay… kinda a rude question…”

Shit. Here it comes.

“What… what happened to…” Wade was about to just leave. He hated this question. His skin was not something to gawk at- “To your wife…?”

Oh… Fuck. Now Wade wished Peter had asked about his face… 

“Venessa…” 

“Never mind. I’m such an asshole. I’m so sorry. Never mind. I’m sorry.” Peter looked pale. 

“I… Petey, that’s not the question I thought you were going to ask something else… Uh… Venessa was… well, she was murdered. And it’s kind of my fault.”

[Kind of, my ass.]

{Yeah, it was tooootally your fault.}

“I-I’m sorry, Wade.” Peter wasn’t pitying him… but it sure as hell felt like it.

“I don’t need your pity.” Wade snapped. 

[What happened to liking him, Wade.]

Peter just lowered his head. “S-sorry.”

{Look what you did! Poor thing-}

“Not. Helping.” Shit now Peter thought Wade was mad at him.

But Peter didn’t answer that one… weird. He  _ thought _ he’d said it out loud.

[Silent treatment.] 

“Petey, I’m sorry.”

“No!” His head shot up. “I’m sorry! I really shouldn’t have asked, I’m a bad fake boyfriend.” Peter rubbed his face.

{Not the silent treatment!}

“Actually, you are the best fake boyfriend I’ve ever had!” 

[Shocking.]

“I’m sorry, Wade.”

“Don’t be. I just… it’s a sore subject.”

[He told you about his uncle.] 

“Who’s side are you on?” Wade knew he said that one out lout. Peter couldn’t have missed it… but it seemed like he knew it wasn’t meant for him.

[He knows you’re crazy.]

“Wade…” Peter shuffled a little. 

[Here it comes. He’s going to say he doesn’t want to hang out anymore.]

“Yeah, little buddy?” Trepidation. 

{Intimidation.}

“Wanna go get ice cream?”

{Omg he’s perfect.}

Wade had to agree.

* * *

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credits  
> The title is a meme... lol of course.  
> The game they were playing at first was Mario Kart... not really impertinent, but I wanted to specify. They played that, Space Invader, Pac Man, and the one Wade freaking destroys, in my mind, was Terminator.   
> Sorry about Venessa... But, like, cannon or something.   
> I'm pretty sure the 'intimidation, trepidation' thing is from hips don't lie by Shakira... I just can't remember and don't have time to look right now... If I'm wrong, lemme know.  
> Sorry this chapter was so short.  
> I don't know if I'll describe the ice cream, but Peter is getting Mint Chocolate Chip and Wade is getting vanilla.   
> Also, Idk if anyone else saw, I'm starting another story... Should it be Starker or another Spideypool?... Or both...   
> Okay. Love y'all. I gotta go, this bell is about to end.  
> Have a nice day!  
> (I want comments. I like attention. Love u!)  
> Xoxo,  
> ~Miss Taken


	9. Damn it, Wade.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo, uh. Sorry 'bout the long wait...   
> I could make any number of excuses ranging from me graduating, prom, my boyfriend (I'm just as surprised as y'all), my 18th b-day coming up, planning a party I don't even want, saying bye to all my friends and having an existential crisis every few hours, to me just being a lazy dude.  
> Pick your fave lol.  
> I know where I want this to go, I just need motivation to get there lol.  
> Anyway, Enjoy the chapter!!

 

 

* * *

 

 

Peter and Wade spent the rest of the day together. It was almost eight by the time Peter realized he had multiple missed calls from Tony… and he had a text from Uncle Bucky… shit.

_ “Don’t worry I’ll cover for u” _

That was so embarrassing. When he got home, he’d have to thank Bucky profusely. Hopefully he didn’t cover with anything more embarrassing… Who was he kidding? It was Bucky.

Tony probably thought Peter was getting his pubes dyed hot pink or some shit… He almost preferred Tony to just know where Peter was… almost. Now that Peter suspected Wade’s secret identity, he wanted Tony to know even less. What if Tony knew who Deadpool was? Then he’d ban Peter from ever seeing him again.

he still needed to ask Harry ‘out’. How do you do that? 

 

“I have to go. I’m going to be so in trouble.”

“I can talk to them for you.”

“No! Oh my gosh, they think you’re my boyfriend. If they see you, a tall buff, almost 30 year old they’ll kill not only me, but you too!” Peter wasn’t really that worried about getting home right this second. Not like last time. But he didn’t want to push his luck with Tony. 

“Point. But let’s get you home.” Wade turned and took a step toward the door… then turned back dramatically. “Or we could say you’re sleeping over.” 

“I-... actually that sounds fun. Hold on. Let me text my other uncle. He… might cover for me.”

Peter texted Bucky in hopefully the least conspicuous way. 

 

_ Heeeey. Wanna cover for me and say I can stay the night at my… friend’s house? I don’t want tony to yell at me… lol _

 

Not even a minute later Bucky answered 

_ ;) I got you little dude. Tin man won’t give you trouble. _

 

_ Thanks uncle B! _

 

_ Call me if you need help. I’ll kill the guy for you. _

 

_ Lol yes sir.  _

 

_ Use a condom _

 

_ ITS NOT LIKE THAT _

 

_ Sure it’s not ;) _

 

_ I hate you _

 

_ No you don’t. Okay, go have fun, but not too much fun. _

 

_ Rodger dodger _

 

“And we’re clear.”

“Wait for real?” Wade looked kinda weirded out… or panicked. 

Shit. Peter should be panicking too. How was he supposed to patrol now? 

No. Wait. This was good. 

He could find out if Wade was really him. 

...wait. How. 

Yeah. He had his suit. But. Like, there was no subtle way to watch Wade change- 

WAIT NO. Now Peter sounded like a peeping Tom!!! 

Ugh. This sucked. 

Wait. He could totally just pretend to be sleeping. No big deal. Buuuut. Wade was probably going to make him sleep on the couch… and it would sound weird to asked to sleep with him in his bed…

“Ready for another round?” Wade handed Peter the controller again. Peter grabbed it without a word.

“That’s my best bet though…” 

“What?”

“Uh...talking to myself…?” Peter knows Deadpool hears voices… He suspects Wade does too… so talking to himself shouldn’t be that weird, right?

“Petey, you okay, buddy?”

“Y-Yeah. I’m just… tired. And, uh. Maybe we can watch a movie…?”

“Good thinking. I’m getting tired of losing anyway.”

Peter laughed. It was Wade’s fault for challenging him to any Nintendo game, let alone Mario Party 10. Seriously, Wade was way over confidant ability in this. May was better, hell  _ Steve _ was better and he only learned how to play a week ago!

Wade got up, switching the input on the tv to HDMI 2 and switching on the vhs player. 

“Wow, you’re older than I thought.” Peter kept a straight face, just trying to rile Wade up.

“Excuse you! Some of the best movies are on VHS!”

“And DVD.”

“No. You freaking millennial. You’re the reason VHS died!”

“Uh, no, that died off before I was even born. Video killed the radio star, DVD killed the video star.”

“And now you’re ruining good music. How are we even friends?” Wade was being dramatic, and Peter knew he wasn’t really hurt, he was still picking out a movie.

“Okay. I’ve picked out some of the best, you get final say.”

He’d picked out four. Alien, Halloween, Saw 2, and Goosebumps: Werewolf of fever swamp.

“I’m not gonna lie, I’m kinda a wimp. And scary movies… scare me.”

“Oh, then you do  _ not _ want to watch this,” Wade picked up the Goosebumps and put it to the side. 

“Oh, come one, that one’s probably the least-”

“Do not underestimate RL Stine. Have you  _ seen _ ‘Cry of the Cat’? I refuse to even own a copy of it!”

“I think you’re being over dramatic.” Peter picked up Alien. He vaguely remembered watching it when he was younger, but he couldn’t remember most of it. “How about this one?”

“Sure. I have all of them. Then we can watch the predator movies then the Alien vs. Predator movies!”

“I was unprepared for a marathon, but let’s go. I’m game.” Peter knew he’d probably fall asleep pretty quickly. He wanted to patrol tonight… But he still hadn’t figured out all the logistics of that. 

If Wade was Deadpool, he might catch Peter changing and it would blow his cover. If Wade was just a dude (who was Peter kidding  _ just _ some  _ dude _ ?? Wade was  _ the _ dude.) then he might freak him out by leaving in the middle of the night.

And he still didn’t know how he was going to finalize his theory of who’s under the mask… Peter was starting to question if he even wanted to know… Now that he thought about it, it felt… wrong to have possibly figured it out. A secret is such for a reason… He should just ask… But, really, easier said than done.

“Whatcha brooding about, kid?”

“I don’t brood.” Another conversation to connect to the one he and Deadpool had shared. But what if it’s not? Ugh. He should just ask… 

“Okay. Maybe I was a little… so. Say you thought someone was someone else, but you think both of them are cool and the other them is kinda a secret type deal… what would you do?”

Wade blinked. “I don’t even understand half the words that just came from your mouth.”

Peter tried to thing of an easier way to say it, but Wade beat him to it. “Are you telling me you’ve figured out a super’s identity?”

“…Maybe?”

“Who! Oh my god, is it the Hulk? No. Shit. Is it the winter soldier? Iron man doesn’t count. Oh my god, you can’t keep me in suspense like this!”

“I can’t tell you!” Peter was finding it hard to breath, half hysteric. Why had he said anything out loud? He put the fact aside that he  _ did _ , in fact, know Bruce and Bucky. But no. Now Wade wasn’t going to drop it. 

“Oh. My. God. Is it Spider-Man?” Wade was acting like this was just sleepover gossip and not talking about some pretty highly classified stuff.

But he could work with this. Maybe if he put some clues out there, to both Wade and Deadpool, Peter could lead them to make a conclusion.

“Yeah… he and I kinda…sorta…  Know each other?” It wasn’t a lie, per say.

“PETEY how could you keep that from me! Can you get me his autograph? Oh my god, can you get him to take a selfie with me?”

“It’s not really a selfie if you have more than one person in it…”

“Don’t care. Question stands.” 

“I-I mean, probably?” It really wouldn’t be that hard.

“This is the happiest day of my life!” He… Deadpool could take a picture any time.

Maybe Peter was mistaken. But maybe he wanted one not in costume? Or this was not Deadpool. But Peter wanted to know if he was right… but back to the question about if that was even okay… he would get skittish if Wade was to figure his out… He wouldn’t  _ not _ trust him… but he would be concerned.

“You’re brooding again.”

“I-I’m just thinking.” 

“What about?”

“I… He wouldn’t want me to tell anyone who he is…”

“I understand. A secret identity is such for a reason,”

Oh, that wasn’t good. Wade definitely wouldn’t want Peter to know-

“That said, I want all the tea.”

Peter had to laugh. “Wade, no one really says that.”

“Mood.”

“What?”

“I don’t really know, this chick I know, she’s super emo, says that. And I’m a hip kid, so. Duh.”

“Oh, Wade. You have so much to learn.” 

“Okay. So cough up the info! Who’s my hero?”

“Uh… If you had to guess who would you say?”

“Someone really hot.”

Peter choked. “Wade!”

“Well, that ass.”

“That’s not an answer.” Peter blushed. He knew Wade saw it, but he was glad he thought it was just because he said that and not because he’d actually said it about Peter himself.

“Sure it is.”

“What ever, can we just watch this movie?”

“Sure, kiddo. But I want all the deats later. Like. I’m big time stalker for him and I want it all. Creepy or not.”

Peter, for some reason, wasn’t nearly as weirded out as he probably should be. 

As they watched the movie, Peter was wide awake. He actually really enjoyed the movie, and he also didn’t want to go to sleep yet in fear that he either wouldn’t wake up in time to patrol, or miss Wade leaving. Or both. 

Peter jumped up when the credits rolled. “How have I not seen this! Oh my god that was amazing!” He looked over to Wade. The man was sleeping. Or at least looked like it. 

“Oh, sorry,” Peter whispered. He poked Wade. He didn’t know what to do. Wade hadn’t told him where he could sleep… or where pillows and or blankets were. He felt awful waking Wade up. 

He also felt bad because the position Wade was in looked really uncomfortable. Peter would tuck him in then go on patrol. He’d decided even if Wade was Deadpool, it wasn’t his place to know. 

Peter tiptoed to what he thought Wade’s room was. There were only like two doors that were closed. The open one was the bathroom. Peter popped in there to relieve himself. While he was in there, he purposefully ignored the gun by the sink as he washed his hands. Lots of people had guns. Wade definitely seemed like one to have one. 

Peter opened the door right across from the bathroom, it was dark and there didn’t seem to be a light switch, but his eyes adjusted quickly. He quietly shut the door when he saw more guns and no bed. 

So, Wade was a fun freak. That was fine. Peter wasn’t, but he had his reasons. 

He opened the last door, seeing the bed he sighed in relief. He could throw Wade on the bed and then leave. He couldn’t keep making half assed excuses… 

Peter went back to where Wade was still on the couch and picked him up with ease. Finally looking at his face. 

Peter didn’t understand why Wade didn’t want him to see that bad. Yeah, it was scar ridden, but Wade still had a handsome face. Not that Peter would tell him. He chalked it up to self confidence. Peter could sympathize. Mostly from his own brain, but people at school definitely didn’t make him love himself. 

Peter carried Wade bridal style, walking as gracefully as he could so as not to jostle the sleeping man. 

Wade said he didn’t need to sleep. Or eat. Now Peter had seen him do both. And Deadpool would never let himself be carried without stirring, he was a trained assassin, after all. Counter evidence. 

Peter bumped the door open a little more with his hip. 

Of course, the first thing he sees is a red leather suit and two katanas. 

“Damn it, Wade. I was trying so hard to be a good friend.” Peter set Wade down on the bed and picked the covers up off the floor. 

After tucking him in, Peter sighed.

Wade could just be really into cosplay? Or was into that kinda stuff… in bed… Peter blushed. 

Who was he kidding. All he could do was beg Wade’s forgiveness. 

Damn it. 

Peter knew he was right, now. But. For some reason he really didn’t feel all that accomplished. 

He felt wrong. Like a back stabbed. And he felt scared. 

What if Wade demanded to know who Spiderman was?

…What if Wade didn’t want to be his friend?

Peter put on his suit, the one he made himself, the one without all of Tony’s trackers and fancy shit, and wrote a note and stuck it to Wade’s forehead so he was sure to see it. 

 

_ Hey, I had lots of fun tonight! Something came up though and I had to go home. You passed out anyways. Don’t worry, my uncle picked me up, I didn’t walk. See you sometime soon! Text me when you see this.  _

_ Ps. I loved the movie. We definitely need to marathon them all soon. _

_ ~Peter P.  _

 

With that Peter grabbed his bag and left, jumping out the window. He left his bag on top of some building, making sure to remember. But after the second time his bag got stolen, he figured he should just put his bag where no one could get it. 

He… really didn’t want to see Wade right now. He didn’t even know what he was going to say or how to begin to apologize. 

 

After two stopped robberies and helping a late night drunk find their way to the subway Peter was feeling good. He thought maybe he could avoid Deadpool. Only another hour or two. It was honestly a pretty quiet night. He swung by his old apartment, checking in on May. She was sleeping. 

Finally he couldn’t stall any more. He’d have to go home. 

He swung back to the building where he’d left his backpack. He just sat there for a minute surprised at his not bumping into the red leather clad man. 

And of course he had to jinx himself because the second he thought that his Spidey sense went off. 

“Heya, Spidey!”

“You have… really bad timing.” Peter sighed.

Damn it, Wade.

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CREDITS:  
> -Just an fyi, I've have exactly one impromptu sleepover and it was because of a tornado and we thought we were gonna die. So. yyeah. Also, I like the idea of Wade just having a gun room, but like, it's just to hide other not as illegal things like posters of justin timberlege (what the fuck ever, I can't spell) or some shit..  
> \- I think Bucky would totally cover for Peter.  
> -Cry of the cat by RL Stine is actually the reason I was horrified of cats for a solid 10 years of my life. I've gotten over it now, but I still can't watch that episode... and I don't scare easy.  
> -Mario Party 10 (made by Nintendo) is literally my shit, okay. I beat my dad and brother every time.  
> -I actually DO still have a VHS player... And no, I couldn't bare to part with it.   
> -I've never seen any Alien (nor predator) movie.  
> -Super emo kid Wade is talking about it Nega sonic teenage war head (or whatever her name is)  
> -Just a side note, the note Peter wrote, he actually duct taped it to wade's forehead. I didn't say it in the chapter, but that's what I pictured.  
> Sorry my editing sucks, most of this (lol who am I shitting, ALL of it) was done on my phone... so. yeah.  
> Nothing to do with the story, but I wanted to tell someone. I got kicked in the face today lol. Easter celebrations in my family are no fucking joke!  
> okay. It's so far past my bed time (wow. a whole hour. guess I'll die.) and I have school tomorrwow (23 days and I'm skipping like ten of em XD)  
> Oh, and, just letting you know, I've actually been cleared. Guess who no longer has depression and anxiety! Yep, this bitch. It was like an 8 year battle, but guess who the fuck won out? Me, that's fuckin' who! Whoo!   
> Seriously tho. I know some of you are going through it, but you can do it and I fucking know you can. You a strong mother fucker. I love you, damn it.  
> I reaaallly like comments. It lets me interact with all of you lovely people.   
> Okay I'll shut the fuck up now.  
> Love you peeps.  
> Good whatever time it is!  
> Xoxo,  
> ~Miss Taken


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